Disappointment

What could have been failing to materialize. Despair seeping in, being resigned to whatever feels like taking stage next.

Sigh

Aaaagrh! I want to scream it out but decorum has to be maintained.

Sigh

If I stay still I will give room for the tear to roll out of my watery eyes. When I smile, it feels like I am stabbing my soul because the eyes which are the windows are not tinted.

The number of things in a day that could go wrong is uncountable because the possibility is in every single action. Despite beating the odds and having one, two or three go wrong we never see past that one.

I photograph my disappointments just as I do my success. Most days I learn from them but in certain occasions I pick a lesson that may be far from it.

Who coats potatoes with maize flour and why would one even do that! Anyway this recipe stipulated so and I did. I know one can coat with flour and I really wanted it to work out but it did not. There went my time, flour, potatoes, cooking oil, gas, energy, enthusiasm and appetite and with that outcome, I went to bed hungry.

The lesson in that meal might probably have been not to coat potatoes with maize flour because I don’t fancy mine like that but instead I completely unfollowed that particular food blogger because I no longer trust the outcome of the recipes. I know someone would even argue that maybe the problem is the cook and not the recipe but I dare say I am pretty good at following instructions. After all, this is one fail from the many recipes of hers that I have tried. Many of the others did come out well but I just don’t agree with her measurements and her choice of spice as it tends to bring a flavour I do not desire in my meals though they are not entirely off.

I know!! It does not look like it but it did before I put them on the pan and somehow they turned out like this. At least they did not lack in taste and I would happily have them as sloppy Joes but since that was not the intention when trying the recipe I had to keep going.

I had a little help from my brother who has great culinary skills and voilà!! Let’s just say the burger industry has lost me as a customer.

My charm is mostly on the second try God knows I may not have the patience to attempt a third.

Well, this mahamri’s almost never saw the light of day. When kneading the dough something was off… The consistency did not feel right and at some point I veered off the recipe directions. Being my 2nd time cooking mahamri’s on my own and the first not being so good, I was willing to accept that mahamri’s were just not my thing and look forward to my next visit to Coast. Having come that far and even skipping my online class to partake in this, I decided to see what would be of that dough that refused to stop sticking on my palms and my determination did pay off.

Most situations are like this… Sticky, messy, you want to easily do away with them but just hold on…You may get something beautiful from it.

I have been rather disappointed. I am not working out as much as I would want to, I am not as productive as I would wish to be, I have been struggling to get my water intake to 8 glasses a day, I have not even been as happy as I would want to be and all these got me disappointed. Creating things which is always my source of joy also stopped being because I ran out of ideas. My concentration span has not been long enough to lose myself in book reading like I always do hence it has been disappointment and I. My last disappointment being mid month and not having a draft worthy of publishing. The notifications from wordpress on gaining a follower did not help because I worried I have more people to disappoint. Watching someone else go through disappointment inspired this post. I hope you have not been disappointed reading this.