The Bold Type

As children, we were groomed to look up to adulthood. Other than the normal question who do you want to be when you grow up, we played games depicting family life; ‘cha mama’ and marriage while skipping rope. You literally built your ideal man, planned your wedding, where you and your partner would reside, the number and gender of the kids you would have. In our naive minds, each of us had the best man who ticked all the boxes and we had good health, finances were never a problem we considered. We were each little princesses who deserved the very best and that’s what we got; happily ever after.

I’m not sure at what age we snap out of the fairy tale. It’s like we were all sleeping beauties and suddenly the curse is lifted and we can see the world for what it is. I’m lucky enough to still be in touch with my playmates and whenever we get together, we agree that as children we were cushioned. Some who selected Church weddings as kids have already settled on come we stay arrangements. The names we settled for in our ideal man when Alejandro and Hector were the standard have now materialized to Kevo and Brayo.

None of us knew that along the way one or two may die young, death was for the old and it was always by natural cause soundly in your sleep. We were to keep the straight and narrow path and be the light of the world and the salt of the earth. You should have heard our sweet melodious voices singing from the pulpit every Sunday ‘sauti za kutoa nyoka pangoni’. This statement frightened me. Every time we would sing I would look around JUST in case ( pun intended ).

All these memories came back to me when I watched the last episode of The bold type Sn 4. You know how the highlight of every romance movie is the wedding of your favorite actors, this was no different. They had gone through challenges in the 4 seasons which meant they had qualified for the criteria to get a happy ending. Isn’t this what all films have programmed in our minds. Either the family plotted against you, or you temporarily lost the ‘love of your life’ to the other woman only to be rejoined by fate.

In this case, the plot was novel. The guy was among the board members in the company the girl worked in so technically he was her boss. They had to work around the company’s dating policy and thanks to the fact that she was dating someone who had a say in decision making, it was fairly easy. I brought this series up because of the change of mindset we get from it. The couple plans their wedding and they tire from all the details encompassed in making it the best day of their lives. With 6 months to go, they had not settled on the floral arrangement, the church, guests, different opinions by the two families being brought together and their schedule was just insane. So while catching up over drinks after work they decide screw it we’ll just get married in this bar. We’ve had our best moments here.

Having made that big compromise, everything followed suit. The wedding was moved from 6 months away to that weekend. They picked an officiator from among their friends, one of their friends who is an official photographer offered to be their photographer as her gift to the couple. Pro tip: You should really invest in diverse friendships; build your circle. Now that I think of it, I have a couple of musician friends, a few friends who can bake, photographers are plenty, an upcoming make up artist… guys, I can have a wedding I just need the groom.

The bride decided to walk herself down the aisle. She said, she is not something to be given away. I can imagine how this would crush my African parents especially being the only girl. What actually happened was that the groom walked to meet her. This I would want after all isn’t it ‘always’ the guy who approaches the lady. Rather whoever made the first move should be the one to walk down the aisle. ( Unpopular 2 am thought)

For a heartbeat, I thought this wedding wasn’t going to take place. We have to rewind to the night before. I mentioned that the two met while working in the same place however, months after the engagement the groom moved to a different town to launch the business he’s always wanted to engage in and after the wedding, the agreement was that the bride would quit her assistant position and follow him there. Her wedding present from her immediate supervisor which was given to her hours before the wedding was a promotion to a position she had been eyeing for 5 years. This changes dynamics. The whole wedding was based on them living together in one city and there poof 💨.

She weighed her options; as much as she had found the love of her life, the fulfillment she’ll get from this job was unmatched, it was her passion. I normally hate it when you apply for a job and get no reply then all of a sudden after you have given up and even thought of focusing your energy elsewhere, you get multiple offers, each with different perks and the only reason you applied to so many is because none gave a timely response. It’s the same way when you choose to settle down with one person suddenly 5 other people that you had considered as potential decide to reciprocate your love for them that has now died down.

The bride being the bold type requested for the groom to be summoned before the wedding. She explained the situation to him and stated that whatever happens, her decision lies in taking up the job offer. Of course the groom was taken aback. How dare she! At this moment, when everyone is already seated. All their colleagues! He never got the chance to answer to build suspense.

With so many incidents being reported on social media of a love story turned sour, many of my friends and sometimes myself included have been questioning this whole idea of a happy ending. We have been victims of believing all that glitters and we’ve failed to see that it was not gold. Even with this, there is no assurance on the outcome of our stories but this does not mean that we do not make them.

This ring is the symbol of my love, my commitment and my promise to always dream bigger and be honest and take risks that make both of us proud. I vow to always listen, to ask what you want and what you need. With this ring and all that I am I marry you… (Groom’s vow)

You are my basket of bread sticks, you are my truth and without truth I am nothing. So I promise to be steady and strong and honest till death do us part. This ring is a token of my love and with it and all that I am, I marry you… ( Bride’s vow)

Aren’t those vows just beautiful. They are a depiction of what exactly is needed to make any relationship work; Honesty, communication and mutual understanding. I’ll take that anytime over the generic in sickness and in health. Anyway, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

I urge you to be the bold type. Despite what will be portrayed, what you may have experienced that has changed your perspective, BE BOLD .