Tag: reading

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Patsy

Technically this book does not count as my first read of the year as I finished it last year but it was my January’s book club choice after my prompt read a book from the Caribbean. The prompts have really made us read outside our comfort zone because I would never have picked a book that forces me to read Patois. Nigerians have made us comfortable reading Pidgin but Patois is where I draw the line!?

The book is well written and it has depth!! I currently recall three books I have read on people leaving their country and daring abroad; Lucky Girl by Irene Muchemi about a Kenyan travelling to the USA for studies, Second Class Citizen by Buchi Emecheta about a hardworking Nigerian mother travelling to the UK for greener pastures and she tries working a system that is against her to her favour and In Every Mirror She is Black by Lola Akinmade Akerstrom that follows 3 women: one a refugee seeking asylum in the UK the other a Nigerian poached for her marketing prowess to work in the UK and lastly a Nigerian air hostess who pursues marriage with a wealthy Englishman.

Clearly each of the books left a mark given my vivid recollection of their individual story lines and now Patsy joins the fold. The characters in Patsy are each denied love from the people they desire it from. Patsy wants to be loved by a mother who is only devout to Christ. She then does everything for Cicely; protect her, love her, gets suspended from school to let her pass exams and later leaves Tru behind still yearning for this love to be reciprocated.

Roy loves Patsy but he knows Patsy is relentlessly searching for something he cannot offer her. He settles with Marva who accepts that Roy is a good man, a provider but everything else she needs to fulfill her, she cannot get from him despite her numerous attempts with cooking, taking in Tru and striving to be unproblematic. Claudette loves Patsy but for the longest Patsy’s heart is still yearning for Cecily so in the meantime Claudette is a placeholder.

Aside from the unrequited love, we see how undocumented Jamaicans hustle to survive abroad and the perception the people they left behind in Jamaica have of them. Where did we get this illusion that overseas is the land of milk and honey? I get it that life can be tough especially when you have your peers around you sneering that you thought you would be better than them and see how life is now humbling you. I could understand why sometimes it is better to have your wins and failures where no one really knows you so there is nothing holding you back from trying. I in the same depth also acknowledge the sense of community and having your people around you. This is the version of choose your hard we deal with.

Suicide is a theme explored in the book. The two incidents are very heart wrenching. One unfolds right before Patsy’s eyes and we see how deeply it affects her albeit the man being unknown to her. The second, although she is miles away, pains even more. Roy believes this attempt is stirred by Patsy’s Package to Tru that yes filled with goodies, the goodies are not in any remote sense what Tru would value. Who knew gifts could be what symbolize how much you really do not know the other person.

Friendship is not measured by time but action

Knowing someone for a long duration is not the measure of friendship. Recently at a gathering we had people who had grown up with the birthday boy but had barely seen each other in the past 10 years. They only heard of what became of the boy they thought they know so well. Someone could come into one’s life in a fortnight but together they experience life in a way another has not with the same person. Consider this your yearly reminder to be active in friendships call, text, listen, share, plan activities, show up for the planned activities, invite, attend, commemorate, remember, be active.

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2025 in Books

  1. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies – Deesha Philyaw
  2. The Pearl That Broke its Shell – Nadia Hashimi (Most Memorable)
  3. Dream Count – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ( Collector’s Item)
  4. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine – Gail Honeyman
  5. City of Girls – Elizabeth Gilbert (2nd Time Reading , Still got its Charm)
  6. Here One Moment – Liane Moriaty (DNF)
  7. The Death of Vivek Oji – Akwaeke Emezi (Total waste of Time)
  8. Someday, Maybe – Onyi Nwabineli (Unrealistic)
  9. A Woman is No Man – Etaf Rum (Vaguely Remember)
  10. Call Me Legachi – Adesuwa O’man Nwokedi (Easy Read)
  11. The 30th Candle – Angela Makholwa ( 1st Book is better; Blessed Girl)
  12. The Marriage Class – Adesuwa O’man Nwokedi
  13. God Shaped Hole – Tiffany De Bartolo ( Heart Wrenching)
  14. Golibe – Adesuwa O’man Nwokedi (DNF)
  15. My Name is Maame – Jessica George (Most Impactful)
  16. Confessions of Nairobi men – Joan Thatiah
  17. Confessions of Nairobi women Book 1 – Joan Thatiah
  18. Confessions of Nairobi women Book 2 – Joan Thatiah
  19. The Vanishing Half – Brit Bennet ( 2nd Time Reading and I Barely Remember)
  20. The Wedding People – Alison Espach ( Most Easy Going Read)
  21. Daisy Jones and the Six – Taylor Jenkins Reid ( DNF)
  22. Emmah – Jane Austen (DNF)
  23. How we met – Huma Qureshi
  24. Can’t Look Away – Carola Lovering (Loved it, got me out of reading slump)
  25. Patsy – Nicole Dennis Benn

I have had a hard time recollecting the books I read in 2025. I started with a list that I abandoned, half way through the year I decided recording my reads on wordpress would be the easiest but turns out for a reader who reads for reading sake counting is the last thing on my mind. To make it worse, I have realized there are books I read and completely forget about them.

An author’s first book is most of the time the best.. Beginners luck perhaps? Collen Hoover though has managed to churn book after book that is at par with her writing. Well, some better than others, others more memorable and others fall under the I completely forget I read them. I want to believe so hard that we get better in our writing and I will still give authors a chance. In December, a book club member had hinted she would want a romance book and I said one would never go wrong with Colleen and right at the store, we were looking at her new release; Never Never. Turns out the book failed in the assignment. I was bummed we could not get Wedding People or God Shaped Hole because they would have been bangers. My lesson learnt is not to recommend a book I have not read even from an author whose books I have enjoyed.

God Shaped Hole

Tiffany! Tiffany! My heart is wrung, my tears are free flowing and my morning commute to work has been made better reading your book. I feel like Trixie.. wandering the earth realizing I had so much depth in my world but now I have lost it and I just want Jacob Grace.

The Vanishing Half

How is it that I cannot remember ever reading this book yet with each flipping of the page, the story unfolds like a distant memory. I have never completely forgotten a book I have read, this is a first. I was in utter shock when I came across a review of the other year by Rea Frey and not only did I not remember reading the book, I could have swore I had never heard of it. Yet there was my prose reviewing the book. My fellow book club members call it the curse of reading too many books. If I cannot remember the storyline, what then is the point of picking up any book?

Can’t Look Away

A beautiful love story especially if you grew up watching Camp Rock, High School Musical and Hannah Montana. You get to live being the girl who gets noticed by a boy in a band. Not just any boy in the band, the hottest, the songwriter basically the star of the band. I can’t remember names apart from the protagonist Sabrina. We always know of the girl who got away but the girl did not just get away, she chose herself. She chose stability, she chose presence not just when things were good but daily presence let’s walk in the mud together until we get to rinse our feet presence. A very mature ending but feeds all our delusions.

The Wedding People

Also cannot remember names other than the main character really wanted to commit suicide or is unalive herself the better euphemism. This was after a failed marriage, the husband having cheated and gone to start afresh of course leaving her to pick up whatever pieces of the life she thought she would have. She books herself into a resort she has always wanted to visit but could not afford and now no longer having need for money in the forseeable future decides it is now affordable. I enjoy the lives people live when money is no longer a problem. You can shop the clothes you thought were hideous or deserved a model like body, you can drink champagne at 6.00am, you can book the pent house and not the affordable room without views and you can order room service every meal because you do not mind the extra charge. I know I have mentioned how I hate that books are being made into movies at an alarming rate but this one, this one should be on Netflix for wider coverage and ease of access.

The Pearl that Broke its Shell

The suffering of the women and realizing how far we have come and what pleasures we enjoy that some are yet to have. It made me think differently about what it means to sire a boy or a girl. Boys have been for continuation of the family name. but boys in this world also signified freedom. Boys could be children, they could go to school. Boys were allowed to make mistakes, live carefree and become whoever they wanted to be. A girl on the other hand was a symbol of failure. You had failed to give the better gender, and she too would have to endure what the mother and the lineage of women endured. The book ends when the third generation character gives birth to a boy and everyone heaves a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that was the only way to break the cycle of suffering, pain and shame.

Someday, Maybe

Found this book very unrealistic. I know writer’s write from lived experiences or things that have been shared but basically someone’s truth but even then No way. I could easily count 10 people who have gone through grief that would agree with my POV but maybe we are all birds of a feather. I would not recommend this book thinking about it upsets me but not as much as the Death of Vivek Oji.

The 30th Candle

you know when you obsess over a celebrity and everyone says you should continue in your obsession but never want to meet them in person because then you will realize they are made of flesh and bone and not demi gods; that is the best description of this book. I have spent years looking for it and wondering why can’t I find it anywhere.. so the scarcity made me hype it more as a gem. I know understand why loved ones want keepsakes of things they saw one value when they were alive than that expensive one off special occassion gift the person gave you. A reminder to take the everyday… in this case, the Blessed Girl forever a 10/10 in my books.

and with that we officially start 2026 in books. I hope I have less books that I do not finish. I hope I stumble upon new genres and writing styles. I hope more books bring me joy, give me an alternate reality and better yet help me forget to scroll Instagram.

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Dream Count

I did join the rest of the literary world in celebrating the release of Chimamanda’s Dream Count. I was eager to read what she has released to be published and more so because it was dedicated to her mother. The relationship between girls and their mothers is a complex one; love hate. As a child you look up to them, copying everything they do. As a teenager rebellion kicks and you form your own opinions and act differently from what she advices. As a woman, you understand your mother and hold a special place for her and only hope you can even be a fraction of the woman she is.

The biography does not give much. We only know we would be reading about the lives of black women but we did not know if they are connected in any way. I am particularly in awe of the writing style. The book is divided into 4: Chiamaka’s life, Zikora, Kadiatou and Omelegor. Each part is divided into chapters that delve deeper into the character and their story. We also get to see each characters perspective of events that transpire in all their lives. The major thread wound in all their stories is life during Covid, where they were when they heard about the virus and how it impacted their lives.

Starting particularly with Covid was Nostalgic. Having lived through it, reading about it was a throw back. It made me relate easily with each of the characters. Chimamanda writes in such a way that she is able to give a back story to a dialogue a character is having with another without losing you. She further ties that dialogue and carries it forward to another chapter when we get to hear the responding character’s POV. I found this very tasteful.

As usual there were thought provoking quotes

Keep your house clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy – This is the perfect balance. Do not fret over the few things that are out of place.

It is easy to be sad; sadness is a low hanging fruit. Hope and Happiness you have to reach higher for.

what charms you is eventually what will irritate you – This was in relation to a romantic relationship. For resentment to grow, it requires knowledge of each other.

We inherit our parents scars more often than we know.

The author did not leave us without food for thought. What does it mean to you to say that you have been to a country? Is it interacting with the locals? Or maybe having your passport stamped in that country? Is it eating the local food or doing the tourist activities? In the book Chiamaka is a travel writer and she writes about countries she has visited focusing on lighter topics. Chimamanda giving us an African character whose life is of ease was a breath of fresh air. I am tired of reading about hardship, suffering, failed marriages, miscarriages or settling in life which is what most African authors tell in their stories.

Dream Count breathes life into stories of successful women. Women who are thriving in and of themselves. Women with brilliant minds. Women with a laissez faire perspective. Women who are dreaming of great futures and creating those futures. Dream Count is of course not aloof to all that is happening in society. It taps into miscarriage, loss of a husband, the unsupportive male once a child is sired, sexual assault. We do get to see men make choices that are seemingly void of consequences and at times that is just life. We get to see women not wallow in self pity, acknowledge their misfortune and continue chartering a path of their own.

I have heard both hate and praise for the book. It is not one of those books I will push down your throat as a must read but I would recommend it for a more nuanced reader.

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Dare to Dream

Tuckman, a psychologist identified four stages of group development: Forming which is defined by polite, cautious interaction; Storming which encompasses power struggles or clashes in personality; Norming which happens when the group begins to resolve conflicts and establish norms for working together and lastly, Performing which is when members are competent thus needing minimal supervision.

While attending the studio launch of my wedding photographer, I had an epiphany. For him to get where he was, he was first employed. The constant earning and saving of income is what brought his studio to fruition. Okay, that, support from family, friends, well wishers and him daring to dream. I do get wild ideas. Wild enough with potential to take off. I do research, I develop interest but I never commit my finances to see the idea into fruition. If I did, I would currently have at least 5 flourishing or failing business under my belt but here we are. I remember reading in big magic something to the lines that ideas are like butterflies. They visit us and stay with us but when we do not implement them, they take leave and land on someone else. This was the explanation to why later in life we come across someone who implemented “our idea”.

Still while at the launch, the guest speaker cautioned us against sharing our profound ideas with friends and family for validation. He mentioned, and I will borrow from the butterfly analogy above; The idea only came to you. You are the one the butterfly visited. It is pointless asking friends and families what they think about a butterfly that did not land on their porch because it was on yours. He said when you have that idea, sit down with yourself, understand the idea as best as possible, execute it.

I am liking the flow of this post. It enables me touch on the various tidbits. My current read is a book called Execution. I am forced to put a pause on it because I have to finish The Pearl that Broke its Shell, my until 2025 consistent book of the month book club read and quicky re read Before I let Go by Kennedy Ryan the book of the month for my until 2025 inconsistent book club. In Execution, the author points out how several companies have a strategy but a failure to execute the strategy leads to the downfall of most companies. The book gives scenarios of various companies failing to execute strategy. It does this by looking at the leadership strategy employed by various CEOs faced with similar challenges.

Earlier in the year, my strategy was to focus on the book club reads of my consistent book club as I had limited time and anyway this book club had a proven track record of hosting the discussions each month without fail thus my reading would not be in vain. I attended the first meeting of the inconsistent book club because I thoroughly enjoyed their December book pick and also to reconnect with the members as it had been my OG book club. As the year carried on, my inconsistent book club consistently read, discussed and picked books each month while the so called consistent book club met only once. My strategy going to the next half of the year is to read and show up for each as one or the other might fail to meet.

I pride myself in being so confident, I do things scared. Lately, I also developed the confidence that whatever I channeled my energy in was bound to succeed. Safe to say, I have currently had 3 humble pies and the pies were not so humble. I did have egg on my face. The egg I was sure will miss my face has now landed and as usual, I lack wet wipes or tissue papers with me. At the very least, I tell myself, I should at least have wet wipes or tissue. a handkerchief even. Oh well, maybe this is the lesson that I learn from and better yet, a colleague has plugged me on the best smelling affordable shea butter in the market, I am about to unlock girl 101 habits.

While I have not been getting egg on my face, I have been listening to Kenyan True Crime documentary called Silent Shadows on Youtube. This of course heightened my apprehension of humanity because people are willing to go great miles. My memory of Nairobi roads is now anchored on the true crime I was listening to while on that road.

I may no longer be attending book club discussions of my inconsistent book club. Last week I kept time only to wait for an hour thirty minutes. It is one thing to be thirty minutes late but one hour thirty minutes in and no show?! A book club member who joined me an hour into my wait time shared that she only waits for 30 minutes and then leaves. Her resolve is far grounded than mine because even when you walk in as she was getting up, she will not seat for the meet up. This exact scenario happened to us and as I was now taken under her wing, we both left. to say the least I am still very disappointed in the utter disrespect of people’s time but I should not have expected any better.

more egg on my face even this week but you know what, punda huchoka.

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September

Plug

Kevin Mwachiro’s voice in Nipe Story kills me every time. After taking a long break from the podcast for reasons unknown to me I am back with a bang. I cannot remember the story that brought me back to the fold but listening to blue bra on a samsonite bag got me writing. It brought so much nostalgia and a reminder of Js and how for a period of my life it was my go to entertainment scene.

Js had an unwritten rule, everyone was friendly. It was a place you could go without much money and have a good time. The live performances from the artistes, the bands, the music, the crowd, Js was literally it. This takes me back to when the Alchemist had outdoor movie screenings. I have been out of touch with the art world for a minute and it seems a minute too long. Kindly help me play catchup by plugging me on what’s new and which places are popping. Of Course I am happy that our day one’s the likes of Alliance Francaise and Goethe Institute still got it.

Books

Last Thursday I went to the launch of half portraits under water. Is it only me or would this be a fitting cover?

The moment I heard the book’s title this is the image that came to mind. I arrived on time and unfortunately the event started 30 minutes late. I was exhausted and was debating between going home to rest and taking a cup of coffee to help me soldier through the evening, I went with the latter choice.

This was my first author book reading. I loved the sequence of the interview and getting to know the writer. Much as it is hinted to be our next month’s book club read, I was not ready to purchase the book but as soon as the interview ended, I knew I had to. I am looking forward to reading another Kenyan short stories and since the bar was set low by Joan Thatiah’s confessions of Nairobi series, I hope this one gives something to write home.

Below are the gems the writer dropped during his interview:

  • what is the use of holding time in a photograph if you cannot go back to it. – Before this event, I had read in the invisible life of Addie Larue that photographs do not give context. The photographer was talking about a picture that was taken of him and his younger brother, seated on grass infront of their house, looking at the photographer and smiling. When he sees the photo, it takes him back to that day. His parents were in the house and could be heard shouting at each other. A stranger would pick up the photo and admire the happy boys. The boys were far from happy. They were trying to block all the noise by plastering a smile.
  • Once you write a story, it belongs to the people who read. They in turn hope that something of themselves will be reflected.- When the reflection is achieved, we have a good book, a bestseller.
  • Stories are how we organize our lives. Friends and family meet ups are simply occasions curated for each to give updates on what is happening in their life and their perspective on the commonalities i.e politics, weather, economy etc

Work

I have been really angry at work. I felt that I could not openly say the things affecting me at work and unfortunately I also could not expect better because I was only putting myself up for disappointment over again. There was a day I just wanted to blurt it out and see what the worst was that could happen but wisdom prevailed and I took a walk. The daunting issue which looked like I could not move past became minute and I wondered why I gave as much of a fuss over it. I am tired of complaining about work and my friends and family are tired of hearing me complain. I have now decided that the best work environment is my own and I am actualizing it by practicing what I think my current job lacks as I wait upon the Lord because I know surely when the time is right, he will open a door for me as he does.

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Everything is not Enough

Lola Akinmade Akerstrom in her sequel Everything is not Enough a continuation from In Every Mirror She is Black continues proving that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other. She has maintained a great pace in the book, she takes time to walk us through the lives of each of the three main characters and their social circles. This book was a huge relief that literature writing has something going for it after reading 3 books that need much work on them.

You’ll enjoy the book more if you start with the prequel. I wrote my own predictions on how the story would end and I was revisiting my notes having finished the book. I’m glad to know I was not completely off tangent but girl, seems like I am scarred. I write that Tina’s phone call to Kemi revealed something because there has to be a story behind Tobias only being in 2 long term relationships before her and either does not materialize in marriage and further that Tobias has never told Kemi he loves her.

proceed if you do not mind spoilers

Turns out the phone call from Tina was only to check on Kemi and set up a lunch date because she wanted to see her and understand why Kemi would hurt Tobias that much. Thankfully Kemi has God on her side with the pregnancy because it would be a terrible shit show. I predicted that Kemi would get a less demanding job, smaller position and that she learns to appreciate lagom.

I am of course happy to have correctly predicted that Astrid is the problem in Johnny’s life. It is also good that the book does not tie all ends and there is lot of room for the characters to determine how their story ends. I see Brittany-Rae fashion collection being a house hold name, heck I think it already is.

Notable mentions from the book:

  • Saloon conversations – How they make saloon trips therapeutic because the clients get to talk and hear stories about other people and much as they hate the prodding by the saloonists, the saloonists in their efforts to understand and get to know their clients ask them questions akin to a therapist that get them thinking even after they leave the saloon. Kemi leaves the saloon not only looking good but also motivated to take up space and light the world with her being.
  • The reminder that women need to always take care of themselves. Kemi was feeling bad because of her actions and losing a good man because she did not trust his love which felt too easy and too effortless. In a bid to find excitement, we mess up. Kemi shares that the person who once made her shiver with desire makes her shudder with disgust. At the time, It felt that she had a chance with Ragnor, there was an illusion that the feeling between them was mutual, he was her equal. After a series of dating men who are considered beneath her finally she has the attention of someone at her level. Kemi stops punishing herself and in just making minor adjustments to her dressing and appearance, she is able to regain control of her life. We see the same with Yasmiin when she stops being a house wife and starts doing hair and makeup. She is exposed, she makes money for herself. Muna is also impacted when Yasmiin does her hair and make up and she sees herself as a beautiful girl worthy of love.
  • Mistakes as women are unforgiveable. I’ll first explain this from the Netflix Series Desperate lies. The husband cheats on the wife and she finds out. the wife begs him to stay so that they work things out but instead the husband flees to spend the weekend with the accomplice. The wife tries calling him severally but all her calls are unanswered. Her best friend tells her that she needs to go out and forget about her worries for a night which she obliges. Unfortunately while out, her best friend leaves her with what she had deemed as good hands but the guy ends up giving her ecstasy and she is completely blacked out and he rapes her. The husband comes back home and requests for another chance and he says they put what happened behind them. The woman agrees but unfortunately the wife’s “mistake” is unforgiveable years down the marriage. Kemi loses her job, she is cut off in her social circles, she sees judgement in everyone’s eyes while Ragnor takes a trip to find himself, comes back home to a loving wife and is offered a job at the same place Kemi was fired knowing well that Ragnor was complicit in Kemi’s actions.
  • Learning that Yoruba ( an ethnic group inhabiting Nigeria, Benin and Togo) have the highest frequency of twin births in the world.

The book’s title is a clear depiction of what the book addresses. For Brittany- Rae its not enough that she married a wealthy man, Its not enough that his name can open doors. She is black and even with the family connections, she needs an outsider to get her footing in the fashion world. For Kemi her work, her family, her friends, are not enough, until she learns her lesson. For Yasmiin being a housewife is not enough, for Yagiz being a Kingpin is not enough, he is still taken down by a close friend.

Muna’s story has a beautiful twist. Her dream has always been to go to university and have a degree in Finance. It does not happen for her in Sweden, Despite being in proximity with Kemi and Brittany they do not really know her, she gets a second chance in life and it opens up new possibilities for her. Its a shame that without her accident it does not seem she would have had this possibility.

Coming back to this draft months later and highly thinking that this writing style lost the reader who has not read the book, my bad, but maybe it works like a blurb and you now want to read the two books. The books are not a waste of your time. Also while reding about immigrants settling in their country of choice, definitely pick up Lucky Girl by Irene Muchemi.

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May

Books

This month’s Book Club read was Circe by Madeline Miller . I still remember the discussion we had around its pronunciation. I pronounce it as sass, a fellow book club member pronounced it as s-i-r-s-i, we were informed google pronounced it as suh. see, take your pick.

The book is way out of my comfort zone. I struggled with the Greek mythical characters, personification is not my forte. I am happy to announce that despite the difficulty I finished the book!!!! Announcing this gives me so much joy. It is proof of my endurance, resilience, commitment to the book club, and dedication. I will definitely have this as an example at my next job interview.

The member who suggested said she wanted us to read about strong female characters and true to her word, the book is all about women empowerment without trying too hard at it. We first see Circe’s helplessness and inconsequential existence. She is finally thrown out of the palace and condemned to live in a deserted island by herself. The most impressive thing about the island to me was how supplies never ran out and dirt cleaned itself up. This could make a good modern day fairy tale; most women just want to be. To live their best lives and not worry about the mundane tasks that take up much of our time. The cooking and cleaning men are not subjected to despite women also doubling as bread winners, home finance managers and investment decision makers.

I admired the names the writer came up with for the characters’, they were very befitting of the Greek mythology narrative. The pace of the book was alright, the tidbits of surprises would keep most people going (but me). Much as my reading experience was difficult, I am glad that I know Circe’s story and you too should.

I love June’s book club read, Confessions of Nairobi Men by Joan Thatiah. I have wanted to read this book because of the hype in the Kenyan market and the opportunity to hear men’s stories. Well, It would be better if the book was written by a man but a win is a win, at least we get to read the stories.

Work

A steady growth curve. These days scrap that, I always stand up for myself. This year I have had opportunities where I needed to remind colleagues of boundaries, mutual respect and work ethic. I have gone through the roller coaster of questioning the meaning of life and wishing I could be my own boss to enjoying the perks of an employee and realizing that self employment has its downside.

Life

My face is beaming at the thought of celebrating my birthday tomorrow. I am looking forward to opening my birthday gifts, I sure will get a slice of Art Caffe’s rose something cake. That in itself is growth… chocolate fudge cake has been a birthday staple and celebratory cake since my 19th birthday. The Art caffe cake was gifted by my friends in March and I have never wanted to eat a whole cake by myself until I had a bite of that one. Dear friends, thank you so much for the plug.

On Tuesday I was rather disappointed that I did not have a plan in place on how I will celebrate the day. I came up with a plan then abandoned it, all I know for sure is that I want to look good in a new outfit preferably that will be as new as the day I am born. I want to eat good food, I want to do an activity or two and eat cake.

AOB

Lately I am happy, I am content with my choices in life, I am humbled by some life experiences but mostly I am changing. I am becoming aware of moments when my anger is building up and I decide whether to feed it or let go. I am grateful of the beautiful moments I am experiencing alongside my friends, I am being challenged with decisions that I have to make, I am praying. ( Listen to Nyashinski’s time of my life)

I tried recreating a KFC Chicken recipe and it backfired bigtime. Luckily, I cut my loss early enough and changed tactic so that most of the chicken was still edible. I had major success recreating a pasta dish that I had at a restaurant on valentine’s. The restaurant menu was haphazard and the pasta was being served after the main course (feel free to let me know if I am the one who is clueless about dining etiquette). I felt they wanted to justify the cost of the valentine’s menu considering the price was increased from the previous year’s yet the menu options were limited. This creamy pasta with chicken, mushroom and cheese is comfort food and thinking about it leaves me feeling enveloped in a hug. I should not be spoiling for a fight but I only got the recipe after talking about the pasta and thanks to the Instagram microphone, it appeared on my suggestions. The recipe was in Turkish but thanks to the see translation option, I was able to know the ingredients.

That being all from me, remember to have your heaven down here.

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Literature

The title sounds so academic but it is the best I could come up with to cover the three things I would like to write about.
The weekend after valentine's, I watched a play titled an Ideal Husband by Igiza Arts Production. It is not the title of the play that drove me to buy the ticket, neither is it the producers of the play, but knowing that it is an adaptation from Oscar Wilde and trusting the capability of the Producers and the director who is well known to me, I knew I had to have a ticket. I considered reading the book before watching the play but my hands were full as I had 3 other books that I needed to finish within the month, I ended up watching the play having not read the book and I was thoroughly entertained.
Of the three books I was reading, I managed to finish Lucky Girl by Irene Muchemi. I loved the pace of the book, the coming to age storyline, the experiences Soila had being born and bred in Kenya and getting an opportunity to study in the USA. I bet my Kenyan friends with similar fates would relate to her experiences, if only I can get them to read the book. I am having trouble freely addressing my reservation about the book, mostly because I already know the critic that would come from it. At this juncture in my writing, I cannot ruffle feathers and much as it bothered me while reading the book, it did not prevent me from enjoying the author's work, her first. 
There is much I am dying to talk about but I feel gagged because I would spoil it for those who intend to read, which I think you should. Was Soila really Lucky? How has our Kenyan upbringing affected our values as adults and the choices we make? The African setting of having family around and their approval and how growing up detached from one side of the family impacts our lives. The position of 'the second family' and how one choses whether or not to relate with them.  The choice of a partner and how much family approval should weigh in on that choice. How can we create a family from two individuals with glaring differences in their beliefs, and culture?
I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends about the last question and she strongly believes that two people cannot walk together unless they are in agreement. Her position is hinged on Amos 3:3 and 2nd Corinthians 6:14 which says  "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" I shall leave it at that as this is a conversation that requires more depth.
My book club read for the month was Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden.  I really struggled with this one. I had tried reading it before and it proved difficult even then. My book club members encouraged me to just start page one and I was happy to have reached page 190. The tea parties were too many for me and the process for each was similar, she gets an invitation, she dresses up, we learn about the guests present and the conversations they have, and then there is the next tea party or even up to three in  a day and then we repeat, or have breaks when she is learning.
There is a lot of plotting by the characters. I thought office politics is where it is at but I could sure learn a thing or two from the Geishas'. The discussion about the book sure did heighten our perception. Going in, only two members had been thrilled by it but through the discussions, we realized there was more depth to the book and the characters and indeed there was much to love. It was my first seating where I had not finished a book, I did not mind the spoilers and I feel that I would have been satisfied if I had read it all the way to the end.
The writing style is highly descriptive, the people who help Sayuri along the way each have something they are getting. We see how naivety affects our choices and how unfortunate being constantly exposed to schemers develops you into a schemer. We loved it when a character finally learnt how to play the game. We loved it when a poorly written character still had a role to play, we loved discussing the long game and grappled answering if the best thing and worst thing that happened to a character was an encounter they had. Sayuri's humor is really a plus for the book. 
We never got to discuss our beliefs in consulting an almanac to know auspicious days. From the book it seemed that our actions or inactions although inconsequential at first glance affect our destinies. I will leave you with the book club read I selected for our March read, The Mothers by Brit Bennet which I have now read twice and written as much about it in my posts. By now you are in agreement that literature is how best I could title this post.
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January in books

I pride myself in starting the year strong and making the best use of those first days before things settle. This January, I managed to get my hands on four books: The girl with the lauding voice by Abi daré, a spill over from 2023, The invisible life of Addie Larue, a secret Santa gift which I had to momentarily pose and dig into Animal Farm by George Orwell, the book club read of the month and lastly Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, a re-read that feels like a first time reading.

Most people have found it difficult reading the girl with the lauding voice because of the broken English. Having been forewarned and further explained to that the writer was in character with the girl narrating the story, I was in awe because the writing style is certainly hard to pull off. Our brains are trained to correct error. It is an uphill task reverse engineering and having deliberate spelling errors. One can easily blame it on poor editing like I do but not this time.

The innocence of the girl, the unfortunate things that happen to her and the helplessness of her situation keep you rooting for her and turning the pages to find out if she gets a reprieve. That being said, I am taking a break from Nigerian authors because I have reached saturation with their kind of content. The invisible life of Addie Larue is out of my comfort zone. Very mystical and definitely a book that I would not have picked for myself. Addie prays to the Gods who she was warned not to ask from and in the spur of the moment, she asks for the gift of life for as long as she is not tired of living.

Addie is not given parameters for her ask, she does not take time to seek clarification either which is what I would have done in her position. She was just praying and did not expect to be answered and when the answer came, she was not certain of what she wanted. She learns “on the job” that she cannot say her name, she cannot tell the truth, people do not remember her, she cannot have friends, a lover, a relationship only because everyone else’s memory of her is fleeting. She might as well be a ghost, It would be easier because then she would not worry about having a place to live, needing money for food or any of life’s luxuries and a change of clothes. So far, Addie has done the most with the cards life has dealt her.

The length of Animal Farm made reading the book bearable. I was quickly taken back to my high school days when we learnt about personification and symnolism. I was pleasantly shocked that pigs would be the cleverest of the animals, I only know them as dirty and greedy. The book is mostly a mirror and if that is lost to any reader, the writer says as much in the last page. It is insightful on leadership and how the society perceives leaders and rules. I am glad to have been introduced to George Orwell’s works.

I must have written about committed. I remember being smitten with the book then as I am now the only difference being that now marriage is not a far off chance topic as it was then. I have been searching the depths of my soul and interrogating the beliefs I hold about marriage as an institution and everything that grace’s the occasion right from the engagement ring, the white dress, the notion of brides maids, the venue of the wedding, the roles of each party in the marriage and the extent to which the two parties have control on the state of the marriage.

For each couple that is eager to be wedded, there is an equal number of those trying to weed themselves from what they got into. Much thought has been given to the institution and the pertinent questions one needs to have answered leading to the decision to marry/wed. Reading Committed reminded me of the many nuggets I picked from my all time favourite of Elizabeth Gilbert’s books, City of Girls. I have been recommending this book to anyone who has ears to hear and eyes to read to the extent that I got upset when two of those people keep pushing it further down their to be read list and I angrily told them that they should not even get the book because they are unworthy of the Gems in it. I am yet to determine whose choice was more distasteful between them and the person who started and left it halfway.

Committed is well written. Elizabeth allows us to grapple with the same questions she did as she shares her findings with us. I have learnt so much about marriage as an institution but like she says, it is ever changing. You think you now have the tools to do it right but when you put what you have learnt in practise you have totally different players and their response to the tools is completely different which sets us out on another learning curve.

With this good start, I am looking forward to the insights I will get from books in 2024, I hope you are here for the ride.

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Travel in Books 2023

I finally got something to unbox this 26th, a book that would have me flipping pages, engrossed till the very last page. I was home, wondering what I could get my hands on. I flipped through the notes on my phone and settled on the one titled books to read. I was surprised it had only one book, The Other Year by Rea Frey. An author I had not heard of before, no reason as to why I should read the book and whether it would be in tune with the holiday mood I was in search of. Without looking the book up on good reads, I quickly downloaded and finished the first 100 pages in an hour thirty minutes.

Sometimes life changes in a single moment this is the quote written on the bottom of the front page cover. I can point singular moments that have changed my life. I wonder if the singular moments did not happen or if I made different choices in the singular moments whether I would end up in the place that I am. Rea asks us to ponder whether we end up where we are supposed to no matter what or if grief sends us on a different path completely. I like that she specifically asks about grief. For a long time I have believed, heck I still believe that If my siblings were with us today, my family would have taken a different trajectory. Rea makes me think that might not be the case and we would still end up where we are.

The Other Year is dedicated to Rea’s daughter in every life. I found this amusing, that she too believes in the multiverse and that in every version of reality she still chooses to dedicate this book to her daughter. I was also impressed that she starts by telling us how she was vehemently anti-kids for most of her life and that she wrote a column called My daughter the A**hole when her daughter was young. I recognize kids for who they are, adorable at times with the potential of turning into monsters every other time. Every parent’s prayer is that their kid turns out well equipped for this life and most importantly that this prayer is answered. I pray for that too, now and even more when I become a parent.

Rea warned us that the book will take a hard look at grief and for sure the first 100 pages do. I kept wondering why do I torture myself reading of a pain I know too well. Her quote that life is not always about the good stuff reminded me of my description of migraines in this blog ‘sunshine everyday makes a desert’. True to her word, the plenty of light and joy and fun and romance in the book is covered in equal measure.

There are three men in Kate’s life: First, the male best friend who has been around for everything life has thrown at her; second, the ex boy friend whom she saw a future with and intentions to build a family with but has shortcomings that she grapples with whether to suck it up or continue with her search for more and last, the new stranger whom she is getting to know, and who holds a candlelight with a promise of more, something new, but just like a candle, this light could flicker.

I like the style of the book, how Rea writes about two realities back to back. The message that children are their own unique person and never an extension of either parent. A parent’s role which is one I hope to remember is to help them grow but release them. Let them live and then be there if they need you along the way. I hear myself already losing this battle every time I describe the ways I would like to mold my girls. I am already strongly possessive and I know I will have to put in a lot of work to let them live.

I have loved how Rea has brought out each of the male characters. She says she drew inspiration from her husband. I strongly believe that Rea and her husband started out as Michael and Kate only that Rea’s husband made a different choice than the one Michael in the book makes. I currently believe that he is more of a Jason, steady and present. The book builds us up to wonder who Kate will choose and if the choice will be different in the two versions of reality portrayed. Suffice to say, I love the ending in both versions and this would be a good holiday read. It reminds you of the importance of family, the need to put yourself first and it is a good distraction from everything going on good or bad.

This year I have not read much and I know I already wrote about what I have been reading in multiple posts throughout the year. We had Secret Santa in my bookclub, I wanted to gift City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert but the bookshop only had a hardcover version available. The book I was looking forward to reading since it came out is the Lucky Girl by Irene Muchemi and I am a few pages in. I was gifted the invisible life of Adie Larue which I would have carried with me but I did not want to have more luggage than I needed. Reading e-books has completely spoilt me but I hold dear the few hard copy books I own.

2023 cannot end before I plug We Need New Names. I completely loved how simple this book was and it is easily among the best book gifts I have given this year. The story took me to my childhood and I agree with the author, the characters do need new names. I am looking to add this book to my collection and I still feel sad that my recommender of books left the office towards the end of the year. We had a good year discussing books and I will miss that.

I am happy that I got to form a new book club in 2023 and I am already in awe of the literary world experiences coming our way. In every mirror she is black which was our first read has a sequel and I will be digging that in 2024. I still have not got a hold of the 30th Candle by Angela Makholwa, I will appreciate any leads as to where I can get this book. 2023 is a wrap, 15 books against my goodreads goal of 40, we live to try again.

Happy New Year 2024 and thank you for always reading.

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