Nairobi – Dimples Migraines and Aahs

Grown ups dream too. Why do we limit wishful thinking to kids? An adult is rarely asked what do you want to be? I know they do ask in interviews where you see yourself in five years but this is more to see whether you are aligned to the company’s vision. Do not mistake this for an invitation to build castles in the air. The answers expected are more towards career progression, the value addition to both the company and yourself so that you can be considered an asset they would be desirous to acquire and fully exploit for those 5 years as your unspoken true goals continually take a back seat.

Would anyone willingly work if they had an alternative means of survival? Yes but I bet it would be in a much relaxed setup either in terms of time given or the days they report to work. In Nairobi most people work to earn enough for taxes and rent. The other basic needs i.e food and clothing are luxuries. Tala and debts at mama mboga are how people go by.

The middle class form of relaxing is watching influencers show them parts of their town they cannot access. Back in the day, people used to pay each other a visit during the weekends and that sufficed as good as a vacation at Bora bora. ( Check out Dave mani’s Youtube channel and instagram handle) It took a Canadian moving to Kenya to give us proper access to the insides of Villa Rosa a place majority of Nairobians have passed by severally.

It is becoming more difficult to do those home visits. Most families are already struggling and it would be inconsiderate to add them another mouth to feed. Moreover, do you have the package? In Kenya, the unwritten rule when visiting people’s homes is to carry the essential shopping consisting of sugar, tea leaves, milk and bread ( wheat flour and rice) if you can afford. When you do the math, one would rather reach for their phone and top up 100ksh credit and hopefully you get a storo bonus while at it to catch up with the people you cannot afford to visit.

The other day amidst all the studying I asked myself, why am I really working hard? to get a good job was the answer.

Then what next? so I can afford all the things I like in life and never worry about finances.

Is there another way to achieve the things you like in life?

Yeah, if only I was a fitness model. I would finally go to the gym because my job depends on it. Then I ( insert my photographer) would take lots of cute pictures for the gram because miraculously I would become photogenic and he/she would know the right filters to use. My followers would rapidly increase then I would become a brand influencer and get all those high end athleisure products I am working hard to get a well paying job so that I can afford. The icing on the cake would be all the unhealthy foods I would be able to eat without any evidence left on my body.

what next?

I would diversify my brand, get on any business that deals with the human body. I would get luxury perfumes, watches, body butter, face masks, spa treatments, jewellery, wigs , ~~celebrity~~ influencer status and meetings on the right table. I would pose nude for an artist somewhere and get the image sculpted and replicated all over the world as dummies for the athleisure products I advertise. Maybe then I would freely walk in the high fashion impractical clothing because I will be living in the right cities where I would not be worried about being groped or assaulted and with the whole team working behind me, I would be safe from predators at all times.

The best part about it, I would be free to explore all the other things I like. I would read more books, I would take courses just for the sake and not because my future depends on it, I would travel, I would learn about different cultures and cuisines, I would do all activities under the sun; paragliding, skiing, surfing you name it. I would afford to live in different cities every so often and I would rent and own apartments with the best views and amenities.

I would start a foundation that enables people do what they love with the guarantee that you have a place to stay and the more things you try the higher your allowance and once you find what you are good at, you perfect it and teach others and learn more. The foundation would have apartments in different cities, an establishment like Qwetu but for the fun and spirited people.

Because we are in the middle of a pandemic and my dream is taking effect in this context, I would just pull a Dave Mani on y’all. I would take staycations in the lovely hotels that are now operating on reduced rates to keep their lights on. I would go to the desert in Malindi, Hike Mt Kenya, take a balloon ride across the Mara, swim in Ngare Ndare as I await the dolphins to come sometime in September.

Nice, so what is holding you back?

The thing about me is that I dream. This is just one of them. The one that isn’t too big to scare you into thinking my senses have taken leave of me. Dreaming is really a part of me and dream big I will.

If anything, 2020 has given me the opportunity to have lots of self reflection. There are some habits that I identified and I have been trying to do away with. I know it is work in progress but sometimes I get vexed because I am not progressing fast enough. It has definitely not taken me 21 days as promised. At times it feels like I take one step forward and two back. I try being patient in the process because if I had it all figured out then what would be the point of life?

We all know we should not compare ourselves but we often do it. You look at your life and acknowledge you are doing better or could be doing better. It gets to a point that someone else’s good news is good for them but it would have been nice if it were you. Bishop used to say that if your neighbour is receiving blessings, prepare your basket because you are next; the Lord is in your vicinity. This has helped me often genuinely celebrate my friends successes and this year especially they have been plenty. It is better when your circle succeeds because birds of a feather…

Being more self aware, I can call myself out when I exude behaviour that is contrary to what I am cultivating. Much as at times I am frustrated when I just can’t stop altogether; the little voice assures me that noticing the problem in and of itself is progress. When one knows they are on the wrong and it gets pointed out the person is not on the same path as another who cannot identify the wrong in the situation.

Part of this journey has also been being my own person who is accountable for what I say and do. The sweeping statements that we make personalising general situations is us manifesting those situations. You know how everybody alludes to Nairobi being one big bedroom, men being trash, 2020 being the worst year and all other phrases that have become socially acceptable, do not say it if you have not experienced it. If 2020 was the much needed break that worked in your favour, own it! If you had a relationship that was more towards character development than whatever you aspired, it does not make men trash. If all Nairobi is for you is twitter banter that takes up your time scrolling through KOT comments that is what you should say.

For the longest time, the conditioning that took place was that you had to side with other people and own whatever they were experiencing as your own for you to be identified as one of them or just for your peace of mind. I remember in school we had lots of such sweeping statements: For starters we all had to admit not to be prepared for exams or not to have read over the holidays even when tuition was forced on you during the 4 weeks.

I miss out on so many things in life because I always want to make the right choice. Even Dettol only gets 99% but I am the high achiever. By the time I have exhausted the pros and cons, judged myself on behalf of everyone else, I definitely do not take the leap. I want to learn that it is not about getting it right all the time, most of the time, but going for … ( Haven’t filled the blanks yet) still thinking of the right word.

I perfect my ability to make the right choices by gambling on this unpredictable Nairobi weather. After looking at the clouds and the weather forecast, I decide my attire for the day. There are days after choosing to dress warm, the sun bakes me proper and I tell myself I shouldn’t have dressed warm. Other days it is quite the contrary and I freeze myself to death; there is nothing like freeze and shine. You would think I would have already learnt that things do not go according to plan and that signs are not 100% accurate but I haven’t. Dressing in layers that I could build up or remove an item depending on how the weather changes is a pretty sound option. I am learning to always look out for the third option; be like that flower that stubbornly grows despite the hindrances and blooms.

Tag: Nairobi

Grown up dreams

Reflections