birthday – Dimples Migraines and Aahs

On my birthday, so many friends kept referencing an amazing day. They either wished me to have one or hoped that I had one depending on the time the text came in. I kept wondering what does an amazing day look like and how would I know whether or not I have had one? Secondly, what does one do to have an amazing day? And does your day become amazing just because someone wishes or hopes that you have one?

Well, AI says an amazing day often involves a combination of things that cater to your physical, mental and emotional well being. These things are:

Rest and rejuvenation: Starting the day feeling refreshed and well rested
Purpose and accomplishment: Feeling like you have achieved something
Connection and social interaction: Spending time with loved ones
Joy and Pleasure: Engaging in activities that you truly enjoy
Physical well being: Spending time in nature, or simply feeling healthy and energetic
Learning and growth: Discovering something new, solving a problem or challenging yourself intellectually.
Mindfulness and Reflection which entails taking time to be present, appreciate surroundings or reflect on your day

It goes even further to suggest questions that will help in determining what an amazing day is for you.

How do you wake up? Do you ease into the day or jump right into activity?
Who do you want to spend time with if anyone? Is an amazing day solitary, social or a mix?
What kind of work or tasks would you find fulfilling, if any?
What brings you genuine joy and relaxation?
Where would you be indoors, outdoors, a specific place?
What kind of food or drink will be involved?
How would you wind down the day?

Our mode of birthdays celebration evolve depending on circumstances in life. The year 1 birthday is mostly to the satisfaction of the parents as they celebrate 12 months of trial and error. Birthdays in between age 1 and 5 are mostly to validate the child that they are loved and wanted by the parents. From ages 6 the child will know what they want and how they want their birthday to be celebrated. Then on one birthday you realize the decision on whether or not to celebrate a birthday is on you and how you go about it. Some will keep having a momentous occasion ensuring the presence of friends and family. Others make it only a family affair, and there are others who will let the day go by uncelebrated.

My birthday celebration this year was suh different. On my birthdays, I buy an outfit that I will wear on the day to make me feel good. I have celebrated most birthdays with company of either family or friends. An amazing birthday for me always involves good food, looking good and doing something new for the first time. What stood out this year was the feeling of not doing enough to celebrate the day. Having seen majority of the people celebrating around the time of my birthday take trips , I could not help but feel I have fallen short in my birthday celebration by not having travel plans. While I say this, I had actually travelled but a different kind of travel, a travel with a purpose. TMH (allow me to shorten to my husband because I’ll be referencing him a lot in my posts) my birthday was the best one yet and yes, on the large scale of things it really was but even then, I could not stop myself from feeling it was not the typical amazing day.

In this chapter of my life, I am learning that birthday celebrations can be suh different from one person to the next. Even my own perception of a good birthday varies days before the day, on the day and after the day. Work places are suh different, marriages are suh different, taste palettes are suh different ( a lesson had to be repeated for this to stick). So if anything I have learnt in my 27 years is that I need to learn my life lessons fast so that the universe does not repeat the class.

28 for me is suh different. I am loving different, understanding different, accommodating different, seeking different, and learning different.

🥂 Here is to being suh different.

Pseudocyesis is a medical condition experienced by women who believe they are expecting a child. The women experience majority if not all the symptoms akin to expectant women. For some reason this fact fascinated me. I mean, I could walk around experiencing everything a pregnant woman experiences yet all I have in me is gas!!!! It is only laughable if it was a pregnancy scare but I can’t imagine how damaging it is for an euphoric woman.

For the past couple of months I have been spotting possible gift items that someone would love, myself included. Maybe it is the thought of receiving a gift that engulfed me till the thought manifests itself in random things I spot. I would literally gift a stranger in my mind or later pair up a possible gift item I spotted to a friend. The other day I talked some girl into buying a jumpsuit I thought would look good on her and we’d just met. She actually got it and I really hope she does not regret that decision.

My favourite pass time as I wait for people i’m meeting in town is window shopping at MRP or visiting the cards section in Supermarkets. I once passed by Nakumatt to asses what remains of it during that period where vast outlets were closing. After getting my hands dusty from the shelves and nearly giving up, I unearthed a cute magnetic card with a picture slot that now graces my mum’s fridge and is the envy of her friends. Some other time still from Nakumatt, I picked a unique graduation card at an affordable price that I later resold to a friend who was in need of one on short notice. This is slowly developing into a habit but one needs to be really savvy.

Gifting has become rare or rather an act reserved for certain people. On valentines, apparently only someone you are seriously dating is the one to gift you. Even the ones you thought are heading somewhere wash their hands off in the name of we haven’t defined the relationship yet. Worse off is birthdays. Back when we were kids it was understandable why gifts only came from parents as they were the ones we perceived to have the means but this I have come to understand that the shying off gifting is an excuse for our selfishness.

Bare minimum you only have to gift once a year. This does not necessarily mean on birthdays. You can choose to be unique and spread your gifting. Give a friend a gift during Mashujaa day just to thank them for being the Shujaa in your life. Another can get one during New Years, just to grace his/ her Njanuary with a smile or pick one of those myriad International days. This kind gesture goes a really long way. Whoever said it is the thought that counts never told us how anyone would know of our thought if we do not manifest it. ( ~~Just thinking out loud~~)

Colleen hoover in two of her books writes about unique gifting in passing. There is a character called Lily who receives anonymous seeds as gifts. The package comes with instructions on how to tender for the seedlings till maturity and only then would she know what she was planting. This I would really love if gardening was my thing. In another book, a certain character by the name Merit buys herself trophies on her awful days. The habit begins when her boyfriend dumps her right when she thinks they are having a moment. The first thing her eyes settles on after the words land on her ears is the boyfriend’s District Championship football trophy which she takes with her on her way out. Her thinking is; if he can ruin such a special moment for her she should at least get a trophy for it. This might seem outlandish but its something I would do just to laugh off eventually.

Having got this far into the reading, the challenge is to adopt a gifting culture for yourself and people around you. The trick is not to expect anything in return because this would break your heart. Just gift to see that reaction on someone’s face as they unwrap or gift to put a smile on someone’s face. These gifts have a special way they get to you without your noticing. Even though the receiving party does not reciprocate, the act does get to them and one way or another and they will in their own way. Since we cannot pour from an empty cup, begin with gifting yourself for absolutely no reason because that is a reason in itself.

Tag: birthday

Suh Different

Purposeful gifting