Category: Dimples

I never knew you write…

I don’t.

Oh, the link you shared I thought that’s your site.

Why would you think so?

Fun and Laughter over everything is your tagline.

Aah… so that’s the tell. I do write. That’s my site. Just wanted to know how you found out because I don’t publicize it .

My excuse for not sharing my blog is to avoid disappointment. The only way one cannot be disappointed is if you do not have an expectation. When I share my link with you, and you do not read, I will be disappointed. Hence, I do not share the link with you and thus, I do not burden you with my expectation and as a result, I am not disappointed.

So do I write with an audience in mind? I do. I write in the hope that when you stumble upon the link, you will like what you read and subscribe to receive new post notifications. I also write ‘anonymously’ to receive both positive and constructive criticism. I want to know what you enjoy, what story resonates with you and what you do not appreciate.

From the dialogue above, a few of my friends have already figured the face behind the writing but for the many who have not, majority will before the end of this post.

Stumbling upon them made my day. Everyone knew about it but no one understood. Nevertheless, people safely kept 40 bob coins they came across to trade in with me or just give me to make my day as they knew it would. One time, I was really angry at someone. She approached me with three 40 bob coins at hand and I knew I had to let the grudge go. Without realizing, it also became a way of saving money. Now that the old currency is being phased out, I am developing another hobby.

New follower update, new like, 8 visitors, 1 view especially on those random days when I don’t have a new post light me up. Recently, I received an email recommending a new blog that people should read and to my surprise it was this link! Then is actually the first time I recorded my highest number of site visits in a day given that I have not been actively publicizing.

The stats do cheer me on but my greatest motivation is accessing the site from time to time and loving what I write. Abby encourages me to write; she is my 1st follower and every time I slack on a post I remember I promised her consistency and she waits for that notification. Being accountable to myself and my readers makes the many edits a pleasure.

Do you have a best friend ?

I don’t… I have many best friends.

I think you shouldn’t. The tittle itself puts so much pressure. A best Friend is like your right hand. There are things expected of the best friend that are not communicated.

Is it mutual? Does the person refer to you as best friend or they don’t even know you consider them as such?

Well for some it is mutual but for many it is an implied association.

This conversation that I had a while back is playing in my head. I’m the one with the many best friends. I think it relates to the disappointment and expectation theory I have. On 18th February 2018, I lost two friends who were really important to me. I expected them to show up and when they did not, I was disappointed. I had this expectation because it is what I would have done were the tables reversed. I do miss our friendship and at times wonder how things would have been if I didn’t have the expectation and took several steps back after the disappointment.

Taking several steps back is unhealthy because humans disappoint. It’s innate. We disappoint our Creator; how unlikely is it for us to disappoint fellow man?

Last year I decided to travel on my birthday so as not to expect people to show up if I plan a party and neither to be disappointed when they hit me with those non remorseful sorry texts later as I await their arrival. When I hit the road, I got so many phone calls; friends asking for my whereabouts. You should have told me they chimed. I actually have on several occasions in the past not necessarily my birthday and we all know how that turned out.

This year, I’m doing my best. My best to be impeccable with my word, not to take anything personally and never to make assumptions. These are the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz ( It’s a book you should read to have the four agreements explained). I’ll do my best to stop assuming people won’t open the link once I share it with them. If they don’t, I won’t take it personally. Most importantly, I will be impeccable with my word in the hope that others will and their yes to invitations will be a yes to showing up. Even if they don’t, I will do my best not to make assumptions and never to take it personally.

Don Ruiz encourages us that we might not always be able to achieve the four agreements but we must do our best to honor them. If you break an agreement, begin again tomorrow, and again the next day.