Category: Aahs

Have you ever been told to smile with your eyes and wondered comment fait ca. Here goes the widest eye smile you’ll achieve.

Posted on

Relaying facts and distinguishing that from opinion.

Speech is silver, silence is golden. This idiomatic expression I learnt several years ago for my composition writing came to mind when I thought of how to begin addressing this. It means that not saying anything is better than speaking too much or saying something inappropriate. When I was in the company of my friends one afternoon, a name of one of my exes came into the conversation and he was described as inconsistent. It bothered me because I think he is many things but inconsistent would not be the first word I would use to describe him. In fact, he was very consistent.

I looked back and asked myself how did we get here? How did my friends form this idea that I was convinced was not the correct definition of him? The answers pointed back to me. None of them met him. They only knew of him and about him through me. All they know is what I tell them. I have had to take several steps back and analyse what was said, when it was said and how it was said. I realized more often, I reported with my sentiments in tow.

With this in mind, I am analyzing every other response or opinion that has been formed by my family or friends on the people I know and even the opinions I have formed on other people based on what I have heard. There is a general need to be better at relaying facts and distinguishing them from opinion. I find it funny that in a group of friends XYZ, you will find that X and Z have differences with Y’s significant other to an extent that they do not see eye to eye and the two camps believe the other camp is not good for Y. In non algebra terms, I am referring to a situation when your friends do not like your significant other and the dislike is mutual from your significant other. The only constant in this equation is you and the dislike might be breeding from your description of one person to the other.

I may not have a go to manual for reference or something you can quote but all I intend to do with this post is to bring to your attention that this could be happening in your circles. The first step to curb the misrepresentation of someone’s character is only relay facts. Saying that A is a inconsistent is your opinion. Instead you should say that A hit me up for a date on Thursday then come Thursday he went silent on me and resumed the conversation like nothing happened on Friday. All these transactions are simply facts that are indisputable.

In most of the conversations we hold, we are invited as we invite others to tell us how they are. This includes talk about the people we relate with on a daily basis or even from time to time; colleagues, neighbours, other friends, acquaintances and even strangers who cross our paths. It is important that we only relay facts when narrating our ordeals so that we give a fighting chance for the person we are speaking about to form an impression for themselves on the other person. If it happens that once in a while your opinion slips correct your listener and distinguish the facts. This will not be a one time practice, it is something we have to intentionally choose every single time we decide to speak of someone. No matter how long it takes us to make this habit a practice, always make it your intention to speak only facts.

Posted on

Entertainment, edutainment.

This week ( read sometime in June. It’s been that long in my drafts) while looking for entertainment, I realized how dynamics have changed. Long gone are the days when our parents finished school and had appointment letters waiting for them to join the workforce. Then came the days of motivational speakers who using stories such as that of the owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken encouraged us that late blooming is okay. Fast forward to Gen z who are already making their first million before they figure out their career paths doing effortlessly what they love.

Chebet Rono, a kenyan blogger and radio presenter while celebrating her 20th birthday in June listed some of the milestones she accomplished at 19: Appearing in a magazine, headlining a couple of blogs, earning her first million, meeting and interviewing her Kenyan Idols, Having 4.2 million YouTube views and appearing on most of the Kenyan TV networks. At nineteen I had no accomplishments other than being alive and joining campus. She’s just one out of many… Chloe from the Netflix show too hot to handle also turned 20 this year. She’s a model, she got several brand ambassador deals after the show and she also came up with her own branded clothing attire ‘ love yourself queens‘. I’m just watching Patricia Bright reacting to how a 20 year old spends her 40,000 dollars salary and I’m equally in awe.

Patricia, as I am is shocked about the things the girl spends her money on. Key word there is her money. The girl in the video is a designer and she started hand stitching her designs from age 15. At that young age she was already competing in project runway junior and got her exposure. She does her designing part time and still manages an 8-5 job. This is depressing for my Kenyan audience because at 27 people are still battling unemployment. It only got worse with Covid 19 and the many positions being declared redundant.

Its really tough not earning coins in your name. Patricia’s reaction when the girl showed her shoe closet and all we could see were designer labels was ‘I like designer shoes but I did not like designer shoes when I was at low budget. I liked offers, discounted prices not yeezys’. this comment reeled laughter from me. This is the same Patricia who has fashion hauls on her YouTube from all trendy stores. She had to cut her taste to match the money she was earning.. you mean she didn’t always own designer items! The comment made me look around my tiny room and I could sure do with love for low budget things don’t we all?

Patricia did however bring a point to light, a lot of these social media celebrities we see doning designer clothing all the time don’t actually own some of them. They are given to them for the marketing. Sometimes they get to keep them, sometimes the clothes are sent back after the shoot. Other times they get to keep them for a discounted price. Several people strive to dress like a certain so and so or own clothes from flagship stores that you were the first to love not pre loved. Anyway, now we know that people we look up to did not start there and neither do some of them own those clothes.

After several welcome to my Channel videos, please like and subscribe instructions, seeing shopping hauls, home makeovers, DIYs, travelling on a budget anything and everything that can be documented up to and including Iconic corpses the feeling of what am I doing with my life is overwhelming. There is constant pressure either from within or around to account for your time.

To end my search for entertainment, I took a trip down history. I watched the lives of reknowned men and women. What they did, what they went through, and what made them famous. Those tales are mind blowing; I would urge this edutainment. Learning about famous painters, musicians, presidents, kings and generally any name you hear or see being thrown including authors of quotes you have resonated with. Vincent van Gogh’s life was particularly remarkable. Many know him as a famous painter but few really know his paintings. I struggle referring to myself as a writer as I am still learning the craft and I do not think I have much to show for it yet coupled with the fact that I have not written long enough to establish a niche or produce work that I consider befitting of the public eye on a daily basis.

Befitting as per whose standards one asks? At some point, Van Gogh sought solitude so that he can produce his own inspired work as opposed to being influenced by what the people around him were creating or what he was being told by his brother was selling in the art gallery. He of course acknowledged other Painters who at his time he considered skilled in the craft. Unfortunately, his artwork was not appreciated as much during his lifetime as people thought him mad and rightly so.

It is good to love many things for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much, performs much and can accomplish much and what is done in love is well done

Vincent van gogh

This quote answers that the measure of quality of one’s work is in it being done in love. It matters not the appreciation, or monetary value but because Van Gogh experienced what lack of these two can do he advised that one should love many things. Another take away from Van Gogh’s life was the devastating effect of loneliness. Love for anything without someone to share with is misery. Having battled with feelings of inadequacy and questioning my path and its trajectory, I am rather content with what emerged from my search of entertainment.

Posted on

Beauty

We have been told that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, that the beautiful ones are not yet born ( will they ever be? ), that there are the beautiful and the damned. Some even say that beauty and brains do not go hand in hand and add that beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clean into the bone. Well, I dare say that there is beauty in nature, nurture and the things we photograph.

Nurture being the reflection of one’s upbringing. How they carry themselves around. How they do not apologize for being late because they arrived on time only you came in earlier. Do I have to explain nature’s beauty? Look around, those prospering house plants unless you do not have a green thumb ( then again why are you keeping them around ?), sunsets, sunrises, clouds, aurora…

Where To See The Northern Lights Before Winter Ends
courtesy of forbes

His was not beauty… He had nothing striking but at least he did not fail to see the beauty in other things, and in me. Just a regular guy in jeans and a shirt drenched in axe and body sweat.

Why haven’t we normalized gifting axe as it seems to be the typical guy’s perfume. Even those who do not use it have either used it in the past or know someone who did. If you have zero idea what axe is I would like to be introduced to your kind.

Why are we talking about him on a random day… Ah! I remember he came up because of beauty and even though he lacks it he matches up for it with his dressing. There’s something about people who go the extra mile. Those who do things not for you to notice but because it is second nature to them, how they were nurtured.

There is beauty in the things we photograph; the details that catch our eye hence why I consider phone galleries very personal. They are a physical manifestation of the window to our souls.

If I had the permission to go through someone’s phone, I would start with their memo and see what they take note of. Secondly, I would check their gallery to see what they take pictures of, what they screenshot and what their friends send them. Lastly, I would go through their contact list. I find it hilarious how people choose to spell my name. I thought it was one of the few people can’t get wrong but many times they do. I would also want to know how they have saved me.. a pet name perhaps or my name followed with how or where we met the likes of Lawie hostel or John Bcom or Grace BS for Bible study not bullshit. There’s another kind that saves you with both names. These ones know so many people that they need to particularise. They know you well enough to know both your names. More often you are close friends but they are just not the cheesy ones to save you as Lawie Bff or John fam.

There is beauty in nature, nurture and the things we photograph

mashkiz

What I would not do is pick up someone’s phone and go through their gallery. Remember my friend who told me not to put pressure on people by calling them best friend in F.R.I.E.N.D.S well if you don’t check out that post. Also, she said whatever you see in her phone is your fault because you went looking. She has no password or finger print lock; her phone is an open book but no one has dared explored after such warning.

Love of beauty is taste, the creation of beauty is art

Ralph Waldo Emerson

So much can be said of beauty; It needs a book not a post and few will agree on what is deemed beautiful. I’ll leave it to the quotes that we have mastered through the years. Maybe all I wanted was to add mine for the generations to come.

If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere

Vincent van Gogh
Posted on

On my mat

Imagine having someone remind you to breathe every five minutes for the next one hour. When to inhale or exhale and how long to hold your breath. This is what happens when I get onto my mat. Ujayi breathe into your nostrils and out through the nostrils. Sometimes the person encourages that you let it out in a loud sigh, lion’s breath. Breathing is an exercise in itself and also a product of exercising. Breathing also takes place without your active inducement. It is silent, steady and rhythmic. With your breath you can heighten a sensation or calm your nerves. It is such a powerful bodily function that is partly within our control.

There are also other catchphrases that are unique to this mat. Stack your shoulders, square your hips, lift your gaze, float to the front of your mat and spread your toes. As a beginner I wondered huh!! Is he serious. When I looked around, everyone was unfazed. They had drishti which I came to learn is focus. On this mat I turn into an animal. Its a jungle on its own. We do frog poses, grasshopper, fish, camel, birds of paradise, eagle, cobra, gorilla you name it. I also get to be part of nature with my tree, lotus and mountain pose. Some poses just mimic things that are around we have boat pose, wheel pose, waterfall… This is why being on the mat is so peaceful; before you finish being all those animals, your surroundings and nature you have completely no room for thoughts to creep in. You literally empty your mind as you go with the flow vinyasa.

The hard thing isn’t doing the poses, it is getting the strength to show up on your mat each and every day. In my first class I wondered why the instructor began and ended by thanking the person on the mat. It is not easy. Yes, I thought so too… just a mat, comfortable one as such with grip, colorful depending on the mat, dressed in comfortable clothing you chose, why wouldn’t you show up? There is a unique pain you feel after your first attempt. Your wrists, your hamstrings, your core you light a fire within that burns.

The language on my mat is sanskrit. It has beautiful words such as chaturanga, malasana, flobo, savasana and namaste which you are probably familiar with. On my mat I know when I am due for a manicure and pedicure as I stare at my toes and fingers in downward dog. Yes there is an upward dog and we also walk the dog. On the triangle pose I check my armpit and know when I am due for waxing or if my deodorant works. Most of the time, I am in touch with my body scent because the drip after sun salutations can germinate a seed.

What happens on the mat is no longer a practice but a movement. In the wake of Covid 19 when studios were closed, and everything moved to virtual, so many people joined the mat movement. Though the sequences seem repeated, there is a different way the body feels the first time you do the asana, the second time and towards the end. The same instructions are repeated in so many languages and can also be done in silence. My first silent class was frustrating but once I got the hang of it, I looked forward to just breathe in sequence with a group of people on mats. On a Saturday class with a French instructor, I couldn’t help humming along to the background music. Much later I realized the reason the music spoke to me on a primal level was that it was in my native language. Ayub Ogada’s Koth biro in a French studio… Who would have thought!

One phrase that is common among instructors when taking a pose is that if you begin to feel discomfort, get deeper into the pose… Breathe. At other times the same instructors advice, listen to your body. Effort and ease, if today your body cannot handle side plank with a leg raised take it slow, bend the knee. Jon Snow knew this back in season 7.

So much is learnt on this mat that can be translated to daily living. For starters we have the aspect of traveling light. We weigh ourselves down with worries, plans, aspirations for the future when all that is in our control is the present. Be in the present an instructor will always remind. Just focus on your breath they will add and true to that, you realize at times all you can do is be aware of your breathing.

Balance is another thing practiced on the mat. One has to support the body weight on their elbow, headstand, or half moon. If you are not almost tipping over, all muscles are activated to support. Too much of anything is dangerous. Balance self care with productivity, know when you need to detach and the times you need to be fully present. We do fall on the mat, countless times. The thing is when you fall just get back up. On this mat, we learn to be comfortable with silence, stillness of the mind. We learn to be intentional with our practice and that everything is temporary be it the rest we take during child’s pose or the uncomfortable frog pose. We become aware of the tension that is stored within our bodies.

It is on this mat that I learnt to fully accept myself as I am. It’s never about what the other person is doing or how they are doing it. I just listen to the instructor and do what is within my practice. They will always repeat this… You are allowed to modify they will say. This means you can take it a notch higher or tone it down. For every pose, there is a modification there is no one way of doing things. The advanced students will take crow when everyone else takes a squat, they will go for wheel pose if it is within their practice as everyone else takes bridge. This does not demoralize you, it doesn’t make your practice feel any less. It actually motivates you to put in the effort till you can also modify. At the same time those who are already advanced in their practice do not feel like a show off, they worked their way towards the modification and the instructor’s encourage them to show off. On the mat there is zero room for judgement and once I realized this, I ditched my baggy t shirt for a sports bra. I may not have the body to go with it yet and who says I do not have the body to go with it anyway.

I am grateful for this journey. It is not one with a destination as I am constantly learning, constantly falling, constantly breathing.

Posted on

Musings

I like new relationships. How you wake up with a smile on your face for no reason. How you are always smiling while looking at your phone. How you are oblivious of everything else that is happening apart from what he said and how you feel. How everyone else who points out the obvious is now the enemy. How a single ring with that name on the screen makes you drop things in a heartbeat. How you develop new interests like going for rugby games that do not make sense to you. How you change your routine to accommodate someone else. How you consult on decisions that you would have taken up on your own, what’s not to like.

For someone who likes such, I have not kept relationships that long… once that ship sails, it’s like I am looking for the first port of call and I’ll willingly let it dock. I do not believe in sweet nothings, I do not believe in third chances and once the two are out so is that flame. Akin to Lady Gaga’s million reasons, I just need one good one, a really good one to stay and so far I have had none.

I have only recognized love in the form I give. If it is something I would not do in the name of love, why would someone do that for me? I realize Jesus said love your neighbour as you would love yourself and maybe their action is exactly how they would treat themselves, both the extravagant lover and the stingy lover because one can’t pour from an empty cup.

I have mistaken love for stupidity because I am a fairly logical person. I do not stunt and I pretty much think before I act. So why you would use your last coins to buy me a gift instead of your lunch is beyond me. I would buy myself the food because out of the same love I know you would rather have a healthy me than a beautiful gift and that is also what I would want for you. What I forget is that you will get me the gift to see that smile on my face and not because you have not thought of buying the food, but because that’s just how you love.

My friends think I am a sucker for happy endings. I tell them that as much as I can control the ending of the story, I would make it a happy one. It’s the only opportunity I have because life as we know it is full of surprises. I want to be that bride who cries on her wedding day, that mother who cries when the doctor hands over the newborn child, that random person who tears when the news is just too good that you lack words to express yourself. Tears of joy are the real deal! If I am going to shed a tear I want it to be out of the abundance of joy.

I saw this draft when contemplating what my next post should be. It was untitled.. I read the unfinished post and my reaction was damn!! You mean, that girl writes! I had thought of 22 lessons before 23 but many people have that and the lessons are the same across the board. As it has been evident in these 10 months of writing, Yes!! like a full pregnancy term, we will soon be having an anniversary and hopefully we will reach the 1000 readers mark. A writer divulges parts of themselves in the writing process. Much as one tries to keep the writing separate from the personal, it oozes from the diction.

Night passed when she was twenty three. She had dark beautiful flawless skin. When I look at my photo hard enough, I see her in me. I see that dark beautiful flawless skin. I do not talk about her. No one has in a long time. We mention her, we think of her. She’s like a cloud, ever present, lingering but no one mentions it. When clouds gather and you mention that they are dark indicating rainfall, we mention our cloud on Christmas eve. That is when it gets dark enough and we have to acknowledge the presence of the cloud.

It now adds up… I was 9. It has always felt just like the other day. I try digging up memories and the ones that come up are never enough. I was only 9, there is not so much one can remember from such a young age. This is when I knew how losing someone you love hurts. It did not matter that then, I knew she was in a better place. She was strong in her faith. At 23 Night loved singing hymns. She loved cleaning. I remember her scrubbing the bath tub and the kitchen tiles. I clean when I’m anxious or stressed out and it calms me. At only 9 I had to let go of someone I love.

The concept of loss has been revisited in my life. It is true that grief is the price we pay for love. The reason why I willingly let my ship dock at the first port of call is because I do not want to pay the price for love. It is too dear. The tears sting your eyes, food becomes unpalatable, tasteless. My friends will tell you I love cooking. I spend my money ordering good food every once in a while. I want that good taste so bad that I would rather skip a meal that is not well cooked than force it down my throat. I do this because I know how it feels when you are in so much pain that your favourite food is tasteless. I guard the places I love so much because I know how empty they feel when you visit and the person you used to go with is no longer there.

I love happy endings because I do not know if I will have one. I enjoy attending weddings because I dream of that one day. It may seem that I do things impulsively but I have known death at a young age and there is just no time to wait. I love celebrating birthdays because I know that the next one is not a guarantee. I take risks with extreme sports like bungee jumping and travelling with an unknown crowd because death still finds you in the comfort of your bed. It may seem such a pessimistic way to live but it is quite the opposite. I relish every single day I do not hit my minimus against furniture. I buy the best, extravagant taste at times because if not now when? I read fiction because I get to live another character’s life just between those covers and enrich my own with their experiences. I choose fun and laughter over everything because I have known pain. At twenty three, I will only cry tears of joy!

Posted on

Opinions: Should we bank on them?

How much do other people’s opinion influence your choice?

I’m currently watching the circle; a series about different individuals residing in the same building who never get to see each other. They each have to create a profile on social media to represent them. You can use your picture or someone else’s. You have to form friendships and become likable enough for people to want you in the game but not too popular that you become a threat. Tough balance huh..

So the organizers throw in games that tend to reveal the player’s personality. It might be their IQ in terms of general knowledge, Creativity in terms of artsy things to design or write or just plain opinions i.e which player is most likely to… From these games you get to know people’s opinions of you. Other players also get to form their opinion. One time players had to decorate a cake and just from the colours and the idea behind the decoration, players formed an opinion on whether the decoration presented matched the player’s bio.

Today I decided to invest in hair products. I have been watching vlog reviews of natural hair products and one thing for sure is that there are plenty of them. Then for each product there are people who swear by it and you can find an equal number who have a contrary opinion. Armed with my research knowledge, I decided to stick with the qualities I’m looking for in a brand other than going with a brand name. I settled for a product that reduces or eliminates dandruff and one that keeps my hair hydrated. Volume for me is given and right now, I am not chasing length. This makes it easier finding an affordable product and variety because this is the bare minimum.

The one stop shop for hair products is best lady. I went to the one in uptown since the ones centrally located tend to be more crowded and we are called upon to exercise social distancing. As soon as I walk in, one of the attendants make eye contact and start approaching. I tell her what I am looking for and immediately she points me to a shelf with a variety of products. She picks one that never came across any of the videos I watched. So for dandruff my research told me I need tea tree oil which retails at 400 ksh for a tiny bottle. Lo and behold! This strange brand presents me with a leave in treatment come conditioner that is made of all essential oils. Be it castor oil, avocado oil, tea tree, whatever tree that produces oil it’s in there. This is not the best part even … wait for it… The price !!! I just had a flashback of my last year post of how saving coins can cost you more https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/dimplesmigrainsandaahs.home.blog/157 . We can only hope that fate is not revisiting this lesson because I seem not to have learnt from it.

Well, of course I take the product. Who doesn’t want to have most if not all the essential oils in one bottle! The attendant swore by it. She had her hair open in twists and she claimed she used products from that brand to achieve that length and volume. Her hair was promising. More so the fact that the story wasn’t far fetched. Have you met those people looking miserable in ‘tailored suits’ enticing you to join AIM global and assure you insurmountable wealth within a few days? Well, our attendant wasn’t one of them. (Opinion)

Happy with my purchases, I step out of the store but the money I parted with was enough to buy two products from a luxurious brand. Barely 10 feet away from the store, I spotted a familiar face on the street. A friend who can call me by name when i’m in a crowd but other than that we don’t know each other. We exchange pleasantries and I show her my purchases that I believe are a good deal. Oh my!! Was her reaction. You know how such stories end. So she tells me about her terrible experience with the brand and qualifies her opinion with maybe it’s just me .

So is it just her ? When someone shares a dilemma they have and want your opinion do you also have that habit of giving your take and qualifying it with that’s just what I think but you never know this might be different? I do this. I don’t want blame in case my plan doesn’t work. I went back to the store and asked if I could exchange the products. Yes, the one in charge responded but what different product would you go for? I explained my concern and we talked for a while and eventually I left the store with the products I initially bought.

So back to the circle. After each round of activities, players have to rank each other on popularity. The opinions they formed when engaging in the activities has a huge influence on this. The least popular is kicked out of the circle by two of the most popular players. Before the least popular player leaves the building, they get to chose to meet a player face to face. Some pick the player’s they felt they had a bond with, others decide to confront the player they think made the choice or influenced their being kicked out from the circle. In most meetings, they talk about the strategy of the game and what opinion they each formed about other players. Some would advice, be careful about player XXX they might be a catfish. But this is just that player’s opinion.

Watching the series and my experience has made me more aware of the different opinions that may have or still influence my decisions. Brands are making lots of money from getting the right influencer to endorse their products. I might have fallen for this as well. I am a sworn babelline and now that I think of it I’m not sure whether this happened when Muthoni Njoba got to be their brand ambassador or if I was a babelline before that. Then again, I have no recollection of Maybelline before Muthoni Njoba💡 there goes my answer.

It is never easy making a decision on your own. Some people are more experienced and others might have more knowledge on that particular field so often times we tend to consult. At times I feel like we don’t even have to, the moment something is in your mind, trust me the day won’t end before you come across a post that relates on your screen.

Now that you are thinking about the various opinions that have influenced your choices and if not I bet you will.

May our opinions be well informed and may those of others that find space in our heads help us in making the right choice.

Posted on

Encounters

Image from Alliance Français art exhibition

Alliance Français is the plug in hosting events. Let me let you in on a secret. When you want to be part of a vibrant crowd, socially diversified, experience art at a cost almost equal to nothing this is the place!! The events range from music performances, extra ordinary art exhibitions, plays and movies. If you are in luck, You will recognize the performing artist, most times you will get to discover new artists from Kenya and different parts of the world. It gets even better, during some French culture themed events, they serve chilled wine and tartes. They may taste foreign to the uncultured palate but with frequent visits to Alliance it becomes an acquired taste.

Imaged from Alliance Français art exhibition

At some art event I was attending one evening, a gentleman approached my friend and I as we were feigning artisanship. Caught in the moment I introduced myself as an art collector and my friend stated that she was a writer. I do collect art, in my head. I remember the pieces I’ve seen that have left me in awe. I will collect art in future so I was only speaking it into existence. For now however, I just gaze at the admirable pieces and take my leave. ( most of the art pieces showcased at Alliance are for sale) We spent the evening sharing stories of our invented selves. It was amazing how naturally the stories flowed thanks to our innate reading culture and passively acquired knowledge.

Now that I think of it, I have had many firsts at Alliance. It is a miracle that all these people have never met me at the same time . I can imagine the confusion that will befall them. It would be worse than what the disciples underwent when they received the holy spirit and each was speaking in tongues different from the other. Note to self: to be more cautious and probably stick to one script.

Did I mention that we shouldn’t under estimate the power of social media. Hmm… on another Saturday, My friends and I were at Goethe institute. This is the German version of Alliance ( Lol ) but smaller with less frequent events. Yet another art exhibition but this time the art pieces were experienced on Virtual Reality. ( you see why I could pass for an art collector). Anyway, some guy approaches me and strikes a conversation. His angle is mundane topics but somehow the conversation hits off and we discover that we share mutual interests. After a few shared laughs, I’m pretty easy to convince. Naively, I tell him my real name, both names infact. You should have seen the shock on my face later in the evening when I got a friend request from him on Instagram. I had no intention of making anything out of our informal encounter.

Thursday evening, over the Christmas period, I was heading to visit my cousins in their village home from my grandmother’s place. I had always gone accompanied but this was my first time going alone. As I was trying to figure my way, Jemo who later identified himself approached me. I am normally adamant in telling people I meet for the first time my name and any information that the stranger asks. Jemo tried every trick in the book and later even suggested that I lie to him whatever name I pleased. The determination he had is unmatched.

Well, Jemo wasn’t my preferred type. You could get a whiff of alcohol from him and by his walking you could tell that he’d got Dutch courage. I later confessed that I was lost and despite his state, he called someone who knew the area better and they both accompanied me to my destination. We parted with a promise that I will tell him my name the next time we meet. In my head, this was never meant to happen hence my confidence in agreeing to it. I was leaving for Nairobi early morning the next day.

As fate would have it, my grandmother requested me to purchase a few items from the shop for her before I took my leave. You know who happened to be on that same intersection at the exact time, Jemo. He sees me and chuckles. I weigh my options; either go back home and find an excuse for my granmother or brace it.

Well, he doesn’t bite and I have curved better looking men before so a drunk village man won’t be a problem. I head towards him as I curse between my teeth. For some reason around Jemo I’m always the damsel in distress. This time round, I had misplaced money and I only realized when I stretched my hand out to greet him. Damn!! I had a hundred shillings a few minutes ago and I have no idea where it is, I tell Jemo of course in Swahili. I’ll help you look for it, he offers. We begin the search and Jemo finds it. He then insists to escort me to my destination and since I’m duly indebted, I have no recourse.

This social distancing has made me reminisce the moments I have shared with strangers. I happen to have many of such experiences. Some could actually befit a scene in a movie. When this COVID 19 pandemic is over, what I’ll miss are the hugs shared among friends, the double kiss and high -fives. It will take a while before we go back to this routine because of the social conditioning that would have taken place. For my missed stranger opportunities during this period, I hope I’ll have better encounters soon.

Posted on

Have a little heaven down here while experiencing life with a big spoon

Image result for different sized spoon images

I am not counting but we are just about to start hearing about new year resolutions. Late last year I decided to be making mine later in the year around this time so that I have a head-start preparing how I will accomplish them. Fortunately since then, I have always accomplished my year’s bucket list and in some occasions surpassed what I thought was too early to dream of achieving. This coming year, I would like to challenge you to dream big, live large and simply have your little heaven down here .

In this harsh economic times I know this is the last thing on your mind.I hope after my last full stop you will see the need to make it a priority. This year has been awakening for me in different areas of my life. I have come to acknowledge that life will always be complicated, money will always be scarce but we need to make the little we have stretch further.

I came across a quote which befits this space. It stated: the emergency that always gets you in the end is the one you didn’t prepare for. So let’s face it, there is always gonna be another mountain and we’ll always want to make it move( The Climb-Miley Cyrus) and while trying to make it move, we can use some equipment. This equipment is the bigger spoon.

Often we’ve read that the grass is greener where you water it. This big spoon is the sprinkler. Whether kwa ground vitu ni different, it doesn’t hurt to have a little heaven down here. There are some experiences you hear of and marvel at how large people are living this life when will we get to hear about yours? Good thing is, you do not have to break the bank or be part of NYS 4 to have your experience.

Hosea 4: 6 tells us, my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. I have been a victim countless times.

Ask!

Seek!

Research!

let this year be the end of your destruction. More so because most answers are within our reach by the click of a button. Kenya has so much to offer that we Kenyans have not realized. For instance, do you know that there is a Bear in Kenya? Yes you read it right, a grown Bear! Now that you know, research to find out where this Bear is located and plan to make a visit sooner rather than later before it becomes extinct like Sudan the white Rhino.

Not once, not twice have I been in a gathering whose audience is mostly whites right here in Kenya and I ask myself why don’t we kenyans show up for such as I believe there are a majority who would enjoy the experience. Later, I get the answer to my question which is always, I did not know about it. Fine, there are things I still do not know but i’m putting my best foot forward and my ears on the ground. Even if I may not partake in each and every activity I will know about it.

Knowledge is power and the more you know, the more you realise how much you do not know. Your big spoon is YOUR big spoon; whether it is a tea spoon, a table spoon, a soup spoon it is YOURS. Don’t hate on another’s table spoon while you are still on your tea spoon perhaps for you its tea time and for the other its simply lunch, or dinner and not their tea spoon moment.

All I am trying to say in these many words is that you need to try out that new restaurant, visit that place your heart longs for, make time for your own happiness. The more we wait on people so that we can do it as friends, or have company the higher the chances we will not accomplish what we long for. I might be on my teaspoon moment but I’m hopeful that lunch is coming and then I will use a bigger spoon to experience all the marvels this life has to offer. Hopefully it will be a table for two as you will be dining along with me.

Posted on

Purposeful gifting

Pseudocyesis is a medical condition experienced by women who believe they are expecting a child. The women experience majority if not all the symptoms akin to expectant women. For some reason this fact fascinated me. I mean, I could walk around experiencing everything a pregnant woman experiences yet all I have in me is gas!!!! It is only laughable if it was a pregnancy scare but I can’t imagine how damaging it is for an euphoric woman.

For the past couple of months I have been spotting possible gift items that someone would love, myself included. Maybe it is the thought of receiving a gift that engulfed me till the thought manifests itself in random things I spot. I would literally gift a stranger in my mind or later pair up a possible gift item I spotted to a friend. The other day I talked some girl into buying a jumpsuit I thought would look good on her and we’d just met. She actually got it and I really hope she does not regret that decision.

My favourite pass time as I wait for people i’m meeting in town is window shopping at MRP or visiting the cards section in Supermarkets. I once passed by Nakumatt to asses what remains of it during that period where vast outlets were closing. After getting my hands dusty from the shelves and nearly giving up, I unearthed a cute magnetic card with a picture slot that now graces my mum’s fridge and is the envy of her friends. Some other time still from Nakumatt, I picked a unique graduation card at an affordable price that I later resold to a friend who was in need of one on short notice. This is slowly developing into a habit but one needs to be really savvy.

Gifting has become rare or rather an act reserved for certain people. On valentines, apparently only someone you are seriously dating is the one to gift you. Even the ones you thought are heading somewhere wash their hands off in the name of we haven’t defined the relationship yet. Worse off is birthdays. Back when we were kids it was understandable why gifts only came from parents as they were the ones we perceived to have the means but this I have come to understand that the shying off gifting is an excuse for our selfishness.

Bare minimum you only have to gift once a year. This does not necessarily mean on birthdays. You can choose to be unique and spread your gifting. Give a friend a gift during Mashujaa day just to thank them for being the Shujaa in your life. Another can get one during New Years, just to grace his/ her Njanuary with a smile or pick one of those myriad International days. This kind gesture goes a really long way. Whoever said it is the thought that counts never told us how anyone would know of our thought if we do not manifest it. ( Just thinking out loud)

Colleen hoover in two of her books writes about unique gifting in passing. There is a character called Lily who receives anonymous seeds as gifts. The package comes with instructions on how to tender for the seedlings till maturity and only then would she know what she was planting. This I would really love if gardening was my thing. In another book, a certain character by the name Merit buys herself trophies on her awful days. The habit begins when her boyfriend dumps her right when she thinks they are having a moment. The first thing her eyes settles on after the words land on her ears is the boyfriend’s District Championship football trophy which she takes with her on her way out. Her thinking is; if he can ruin such a special moment for her she should at least get a trophy for it. This might seem outlandish but its something I would do just to laugh off eventually.

Having got this far into the reading, the challenge is to adopt a gifting culture for yourself and people around you. The trick is not to expect anything in return because this would break your heart. Just gift to see that reaction on someone’s face as they unwrap or gift to put a smile on someone’s face. These gifts have a special way they get to you without your noticing. Even though the receiving party does not reciprocate, the act does get to them and one way or another and they will in their own way. Since we cannot pour from an empty cup, begin with gifting yourself for absolutely no reason because that is a reason in itself.

Posted on

About Me

I love a good read. . . I want this space to be a platform for such. Writing that enhances dimples on your face, stories that give you those Aah moments and a bit of migraines because sunshine everyday makes a desert.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started