Aahs – Dimples Migraines and Aahs

October 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Fare Thee Well Baba

Kenya has been mourning from 15th October, I have been mourning. I saw the news about the death of Honourable Raila Amollo Odinga on whatsaap status and not being a stranger to misinformation, I quickly scrolled through twitter looking for a reputable source. I must mention that I was in class, undertaking a workshop on research and that morning, I had turned to social media because my brain had stopped processing the information the instructors were trying to impart. I was questioning the importance of the class and in that moment, I would have rather resumed work and relieve my remaining brain cells from the agony I was putting them through.

Raila Amollo Odinga is an enigma, I like many other Kenyans immortalized him and never pictured his death. I remember the sting of death when I processed the news, I also remember quickly blinking away the tears because I was in public and my company was new to me. In the course of the day I allowed myself a moment for the news to sink in the bathroom but just that, a moment.

I postponed my grief from Wednesday morning to Friday when I was done with the training and had presented my project and listened to my classmates present theirs. This was the first time I utilized a gazetted public holiday for its purpose and the state funeral was a much needed relieve. Friday morning was the first time I would break down and later in the afternoon, I braced myself as I went to view his body, lying at Nyayo Stadium.

Hell I was scared. There was heavy police presence and the memory of two people who had lost their lives the previous day on the same quest lingered. We had agreed that we have to view the body and pay our last respect but each hurdle along the way posed the question, are we still going? We met people leaving the stadium urging us to turn back while we still can, the ground was chaotic and our effort would be worthless if we became a statistic. We took turns being the courageous one. At the threat of a stampede I was ready to call it quits but my partner convinced the crowd to pave way for me being a woman. Much as I appreciated the gesture, that move separated us and the agreement was that we were in this together. I waited anxiously as I was crouching, following the police orders and shortly, he was next to me.

We spent the entire weekend eyes glued to the television watching the country mourn. The mood was somber and I am glad the mourning went uninterrupted until we could face the world on Tuesday morning. Grief, disbelief, indescribable pain for the insurmountable loss then embarking on the 4 of the 7 stages of grief; denial, bargaining, acceptance and hope, and processing grief.

Growing up I enjoyed watching Raila’s campaigns. He had a way of interacting with the crowd that would leave you inspired, part of the cause and yearning for more. Mama mbogas and everyone who earns from hand to mouth would close shop for the several hours and go listen to Jakom. He never provided food for their tables but somehow, that interaction that left you charged was more than enough. Families would unite in the evening to watch news and see the different parts of the country he was at and what he spoke. These were the days families would also be reading newspapers and we would look at the different angles Baba’s photos were taken.

Until current president William Ruto’s regime, politics was always fun to watch. I lived for the banter the politicians would throw at each other and they were quick in their responses. Then news stations had this segment called news bytes where they would compile all the jabs shared during the week delivered with anecdotes and charge the atmosphere further for the next week. We knew which politician was from which camp. We took brave political stands and were rooting for individuals to advance in their political careers. Slowly, news has become very heavy to watch and the jabs losing comic appeal.

Raila Odinga was hope for my community. Since independence, the Luo community has been sidelined because we have not been part of government. The area is under developed compared to the central part of Kenya and the great minds that come from the region have not helped making it any better. Baba was our chance at finally having representation. Baba was our chance to getting development in our community. Baba was our chance at being part of government and not opposition. Much as some people have frowned at the several hands he has shook during his political tenure, the handshakes have been a gateway to us accessing funds, to us getting funding for a stadium, to us getting reliable water supply, to us getting affordable electricity and to us improving the livelihoods of our people.

When I mourn baba, I grieve for his contribution to the Luo community. Yes, there is always room for improvement but without him we would not even see the loopholes. I am challenged to find what I strongly believe in, to have a cause that will outlive me and that is for the sole benefit of people who cannot repay me. I am challenged to be an active participant in the Kenyan politics. Indeed we have lost an enigma but the light he shone will only burn brighter in his death.

Fare thee well Baba.

September 30, 2025

A virgin, a prostitute, marriage and co- wives in contracts

What does a virgin, a prostitute, marriage and co-wives have to do with Contracts? This week, I have been in a series of meetings whose agendas culminated in drafting or reviewing contractual terms.

We have a customer whose legal department has been plainly un co-operative. Actually this year I have interacted with a lot of them. They delay responding to emails, they work at a snails pace, only to show up to a meeting, unknowledgeable, unwilling to learn and condescending. In the guise of protecting their clients, such advocates sour the whole pot. They are akin to that green part of the chicken, though part of the whole, has to be keenly removed otherwise the whole chicken tastes bitter.

We had prompted this particular contract renewal 3 months before the existing contract lapsed. We further retained the same pre-agreed terms for ease in closing and freeing up my much needed time to attend to other things. Little did I know that Betty had just been admitted to the bar and was about to come flex her incompetence. Not only did she fail to respond in due time but when we issued an ultimatum, threatening to terminate the lease altogether for non adherence to renewal timelines, she quickly reviewed it adding “good to have clauses” clearly not understanding the relationship between us and her clients. I have since the meeting cut her some slack because in ten years, she will either be living off the skills she has grown or the excuses perfected; shalom.

In my afternoon meeting, one of the attendees suggested that we need to have a reward and penalty system for our service providers. We listened keenly to the suggestion and thought it could be the incentive to improve service delivery after the contract is awarded. “I disagree” came a loud unflinching voice. Guys this service provider is a virgin to our operations. They need at least 3 months to be well acquainted and at that point we can give them pointers where necessary but we can only judge their performance in the subsequent three months.

“I hear your suggestion on rewards and penalties, but we need to know whether we are establishing a marriage with our service providers or we have a prostitute in them.” This statement caught the attention of the room and even the attendees who were slowly drifting to sleep became alert. “A prostitute does the job but you need to pay for each service. Further, you can only call a prostitute when you have money, no money no services so each time you must be willing to pay”. “In a marriage on the other hand, we have to enter into the relationship understanding what need is paramount for each party and fulfilling that need. At times you ask for help, at times you fall short, at times you want them to go an extra mile and only a marriage can get you this.”

We have many similar properties which require similar services that we give different service providers. If one performs better than the other, we give the performing one more contracts and reduce the contracts awarded to the underperforming one, quality control. At no time should we have different service providers offering the same service on a single block or blocks in close proximity, those are co-wives and we will be inviting trouble upon ourselves.

I cannot remember why I was hesitant to publish this in August when I wrote it but reading it now, I think it is good material for consumption. Betty still has more to learn as at my latest interaction with her. I hope I always recognize my client’s interests and act accordingly so as not to jeopardize their business transactions. I also hope I never ran out of patience to wait for my clients to instruct me and even in circumstances when I think I know what would be best, I should always differ to what they actually want and lastly, that I always recognize who has the upper hand in a transaction and find a way to tilt the scale and if the odds are not in my favour, I hope that I will be wise enough to recognize that.

May 27, 2025May 27, 2025

Dare to Dream

Tuckman, a psychologist identified four stages of group development: Forming which is defined by polite, cautious interaction; Storming which encompasses power struggles or clashes in personality; Norming which happens when the group begins to resolve conflicts and establish norms for working together and lastly, Performing which is when members are competent thus needing minimal supervision.

While attending the studio launch of my wedding photographer, I had an epiphany. For him to get where he was, he was first employed. The constant earning and saving of income is what brought his studio to fruition. Okay, that, support from family, friends, well wishers and him daring to dream. I do get wild ideas. Wild enough with potential to take off. I do research, I develop interest but I never commit my finances to see the idea into fruition. If I did, I would currently have at least 5 flourishing or failing business under my belt but here we are. I remember reading in big magic something to the lines that ideas are like butterflies. They visit us and stay with us but when we do not implement them, they take leave and land on someone else. This was the explanation to why later in life we come across someone who implemented “our idea”.

Still while at the launch, the guest speaker cautioned us against sharing our profound ideas with friends and family for validation. He mentioned, and I will borrow from the butterfly analogy above; The idea only came to you. You are the one the butterfly visited. It is pointless asking friends and families what they think about a butterfly that did not land on their porch because it was on yours. He said when you have that idea, sit down with yourself, understand the idea as best as possible, execute it.

I am liking the flow of this post. It enables me touch on the various tidbits. My current read is a book called Execution. I am forced to put a pause on it because I have to finish The Pearl that Broke its Shell, my until 2025 consistent book of the month book club read and quicky re read Before I let Go by Kennedy Ryan the book of the month for my until 2025 inconsistent book club. In Execution, the author points out how several companies have a strategy but a failure to execute the strategy leads to the downfall of most companies. The book gives scenarios of various companies failing to execute strategy. It does this by looking at the leadership strategy employed by various CEOs faced with similar challenges.

Earlier in the year, my strategy was to focus on the book club reads of my consistent book club as I had limited time and anyway this book club had a proven track record of hosting the discussions each month without fail thus my reading would not be in vain. I attended the first meeting of the inconsistent book club because I thoroughly enjoyed their December book pick and also to reconnect with the members as it had been my OG book club. As the year carried on, my inconsistent book club consistently read, discussed and picked books each month while the so called consistent book club met only once. My strategy going to the next half of the year is to read and show up for each as one or the other might fail to meet.

I pride myself in being so confident, I do things scared. Lately, I also developed the confidence that whatever I channeled my energy in was bound to succeed. Safe to say, I have currently had 3 humble pies and the pies were not so humble. I did have egg on my face. The egg I was sure will miss my face has now landed and as usual, I lack wet wipes or tissue papers with me. At the very least, I tell myself, I should at least have wet wipes or tissue. a handkerchief even. Oh well, maybe this is the lesson that I learn from and better yet, a colleague has plugged me on the best smelling affordable shea butter in the market, I am about to unlock girl 101 habits.

While I have not been getting egg on my face, I have been listening to Kenyan True Crime documentary called Silent Shadows on Youtube. This of course heightened my apprehension of humanity because people are willing to go great miles. My memory of Nairobi roads is now anchored on the true crime I was listening to while on that road.

I may no longer be attending book club discussions of my inconsistent book club. Last week I kept time only to wait for an hour thirty minutes. It is one thing to be thirty minutes late but one hour thirty minutes in and no show?! A book club member who joined me an hour into my wait time shared that she only waits for 30 minutes and then leaves. Her resolve is far grounded than mine because even when you walk in as she was getting up, she will not seat for the meet up. This exact scenario happened to us and as I was now taken under her wing, we both left. to say the least I am still very disappointed in the utter disrespect of people’s time but I should not have expected any better.

more egg on my face even this week but you know what, punda huchoka.

March 31, 2025

THE MASK

People who mean everything they say think everyone else does too.
I am really tired.
tired and angry.
tired of office politics.
tired of reading in between the lines.
tired of friendly faces meant to deceive.
angry that I trust easily and think everyone means good.
angry that when people were throwing each other under the bus, I did not realize I was already under it.
angry that I allowed myself to be under the bus.
tired of sharing fake smiles.
angry that when I claim my turn an example is made of me.
angry that I have to second guess colleagues and their actions or inactions
tired of listening to what is not being said when someone is speaking
angry that I get it all wrong and I am cautious when I need not be and I let my guard down when I should not.
angry that I let myself trust the process
angry that I let myself believe hard work pays and disregarded that the reward for hard work in corporate is more work as you can work well under pressure.
tired of picking up slack
angry that when I do not pick up slack my reputation is marred alongside the slackers
angry that I do not have a mask, I do not wear a mask, I do not mask my feelings and facial expressions
the other players do not get tired or angry
they try me everyday and apparently me showing them I am tired and angry fuels them further.
Since my personality makes it hard for me to wear a mask, I will carry a mirror.
I will be what you want me to be
I will make you believe in me
whatever you see is what you will get and I will be telling you what you want to hear
finally learning to ride the wave and not swim against the tide
No disguise, only reflection

Listen to make you believe – Lucy Hale

December 30, 2024

New Broom Sweeps Clean

2024 has been full of surprises. I went into the year praying for the Professional Course I was studying and maybe a pursuit of Masters I am ending the year having been engaged, being a wife, I did take a stub at the Professional Course and looked up Masters options, I have attended Rammor’s Concert, I have managed to buy items I could only dream of. The universe has outdone itself and given me absolutely more than I could ever ask or imagine. I am going into 2025 more bold. I will definitely have more daring goals because I am realizing the more things I put out into the universe, the bigger and better returns I get. My brain is reminding me how France has been one of the things I have put out in the universe and I am yet to get it so yes, we start the list with Paris, France for the umpteenth time.

last year and this year too I was content with putting up my makeshift Christmas tree and I convinced myself, there is no need to buy an actual one as it is only used for a season and who has storage for the 11 months for the tree anyway. I got excited seeing Kenyans put up and decorate their trees and I was looking forward to embark on my makeshift one. I kept telling my husband we put it up but he was seemingly reluctant. I took his reluctance as him not willing to help because he does not share the joy of the festivities ( or does he really not). I came across beaming pictures of him and his best friend next to the makeshift tree I put up last year at his place meanwhile he had been feigning embarrassment over it. This year he had been planning to get us an actual tree and I ruined the surprise by my constant questions. Poor man, he had to disclose this to stop me from bugging him.

I struggle getting help house cleaning. I know I need help but often I will convince myself I can easily finish up then mid way realize I should have just got help. Then I tell myself there is barely much left, I should push on and finish and we repeat the cycle weekend after weekend. Today morning I woke up with the same sentiment but reason took better part of me and after identifying laundry, dishes and general house cleaning as the only tasks to be done, I set out to find help so that I use the time to do something else. I did get help but It motivated me to do thorough cleaning and finally sort out some of the things I have been putting off. While she was cleaning, I was surprised that she still got that much dirt as I cleaned the same house mid week. House chores are generally never ending.

My usual cleaning lady has of late been doing a lackluster job. She is mostly on phone when she comes over, she takes too much time and when I spot check, I find her work was less than satisfactory. I got someone new and instructed her to do laundry, house cleaning and dishes. In hindsight I don’t know what about her work really impressed me because in the moment, I felt she had gone over and above and even paid her double as a reward. The saying new broom sweeps clean must have been onto something.

In 2024 I am leaving behind an expectation on people to behave in a certain way. At times I notice some nuances and I question how compatible we are. No one is perfect. We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all nasty. We are all rude at times. We are all dismissive. We are all snobs. We are self centered. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.

As I sit in the clean house, watching the lights as they change colors on the Christmas tree, I am content. 2024 has given me 10/10. I look forward to the new limits 2025 will set. The world has witnessed change in its citizens involvement in their country’s politics. I have taken to the streets to demand for better services, accountability. There are talks that the war in Gaza might soon come to an end, Syrians have been liberated.

As I am about to hit publish on this the more things have changed the more things have remained the same. Kenyans are out in the street demonstrating the release of abducted citizens, I have gone back to my charade of house cleaning chronicles.

I am looking forward to the new year, where I intend to step outside my comfort zone, embrace joie de vivre, joyfulness, delight, pleasure, exuberance, vivacity, sparkle, zing, get up and go mentality, zestfulness.

Happy New Year!

November 12, 2024

Next Time Hufika, A Kenyan Love Story

Love at first sight perhaps?

Her Perspective

His Perspective

Early 2023, I was walking home from work when a guy in a car stops and asks if I was finally going to tell him my name. It was our first encounter and I brushed him off. I joked that he is sheltered in his car, while I am being rained on, he could ask me when the circumstances were better.

I had just moved into a new neighborhood. One Saturday afternoon, while busy polishing my car, I look up and see a beautiful girl walking towards my direction her arms full carrying shopping bags. When she reached the gate next to my car, I called out, “Kuja unisaidie.” “Ata sijui ni nini unafanya” she shrugs as she unlocks the gate and disappears inside.

On 9^th February 2023, I spot him outside his parked car next to a shop as I was walking home. I smiled expecting him to back down as I bet he wouldn’t dare ask my name in front of the group of men seated outside the shop. Surprisingly, he asks! Relentless much…I coyly inform him “next time”.

I keep seeing the girl and each time I ask for her name she would say next time. Eventually, I decide to stop asking. Unbeknown to the girl, I had made friends with a tenant from her apartment and tasked her to get me the girl’s name and phone number.

As fate would have it, we meet again the very next morning on our way to work. He offers me a ride and since I was running late, I agreed. As we drove, He says, “let’s not make it a lift, I’m dropping you at your work. You are making it hard for me to get your name, and I need to make a good first impression”. “Won’t you be late to work?” I ask, “It’s worth it” he replies.

On 9^th February 2023, I see her as I am getting out of my car. She smiled and I could not resist asking, “leo utaniambia jina?” “Next time” she replies coyly.

The rest of the story continues as narrated by Her. After dropping her at work, I got her name and phone number; next time hufika.

The couple’s future remains unwritten but presently, I hear wedding bells sounding and hearty congratulation messages.

September 30, 2024

September

Plug

Kevin Mwachiro’s voice in Nipe Story kills me every time. After taking a long break from the podcast for reasons unknown to me I am back with a bang. I cannot remember the story that brought me back to the fold but listening to blue bra on a samsonite bag got me writing. It brought so much nostalgia and a reminder of Js and how for a period of my life it was my go to entertainment scene.

Js had an unwritten rule, everyone was friendly. It was a place you could go without much money and have a good time. The live performances from the artistes, the bands, the music, the crowd, Js was literally it. This takes me back to when the Alchemist had outdoor movie screenings. I have been out of touch with the art world for a minute and it seems a minute too long. Kindly help me play catchup by plugging me on what’s new and which places are popping. Of Course I am happy that our day one’s the likes of Alliance Francaise and Goethe Institute still got it.

Books

Last Thursday I went to the launch of half portraits under water. Is it only me or would this be a fitting cover?

The moment I heard the book’s title this is the image that came to mind. I arrived on time and unfortunately the event started 30 minutes late. I was exhausted and was debating between going home to rest and taking a cup of coffee to help me soldier through the evening, I went with the latter choice.

This was my first author book reading. I loved the sequence of the interview and getting to know the writer. Much as it is hinted to be our next month’s book club read, I was not ready to purchase the book but as soon as the interview ended, I knew I had to. I am looking forward to reading another Kenyan short stories and since the bar was set low by Joan Thatiah’s confessions of Nairobi series, I hope this one gives something to write home.

Below are the gems the writer dropped during his interview:

what is the use of holding time in a photograph if you cannot go back to it. – Before this event, I had read in the invisible life of Addie Larue that photographs do not give context. The photographer was talking about a picture that was taken of him and his younger brother, seated on grass infront of their house, looking at the photographer and smiling. When he sees the photo, it takes him back to that day. His parents were in the house and could be heard shouting at each other. A stranger would pick up the photo and admire the happy boys. The boys were far from happy. They were trying to block all the noise by plastering a smile.

Once you write a story, it belongs to the people who read. They in turn hope that something of themselves will be reflected.- When the reflection is achieved, we have a good book, a bestseller.
Stories are how we organize our lives. Friends and family meet ups are simply occasions curated for each to give updates on what is happening in their life and their perspective on the commonalities i.e politics, weather, economy etc

Work

I have been really angry at work. I felt that I could not openly say the things affecting me at work and unfortunately I also could not expect better because I was only putting myself up for disappointment over again. There was a day I just wanted to blurt it out and see what the worst was that could happen but wisdom prevailed and I took a walk. The daunting issue which looked like I could not move past became minute and I wondered why I gave as much of a fuss over it. I am tired of complaining about work and my friends and family are tired of hearing me complain. I have now decided that the best work environment is my own and I am actualizing it by practicing what I think my current job lacks as I wait upon the Lord because I know surely when the time is right, he will open a door for me as he does.

August 30, 2024August 30, 2024

Five Years

I can finally relate to all the people who say time flies and it was just the other day when…

Its been 5 years of writing my thoughts, experiences, musings, book reviews

5 years of you reading and liking

5 years of growth, 5 years of ideas, 5 years of posts each month, 5 years of leaving pieces of me and still being whole.

5 years of sharpening my writing, my reading, my clarity of thought, my diction

5 years of us

Yesterday during my lunch break, I visited a scents shop and the lady told me how she got the business idea during covid. She had contracted covid and was in isolation for 10 days. In the duration she got to learn about candles and became obsessed. She loved the excitement of playing around with scents, creating something to be experienced and most importantly to convey messages when words have departed. This will be a trip down the lane for you but I will save you the trip by tagging the post of my similar idea which I had then and shared with the lady Purposeful gifting. She was kind enough to ask me to notify her when I actualize my dream and she encouraged me that there is enough room for everyone. Who knows, maybe you will stock my products if you will not have started your own.

The Gift barn makes the most divine candles I have come across and their rustic packaging is the cherry on top. They definitely are in the caliber of sand + fog. The beauty of scents is that our mind attaches them to people, places and events. When I boil rice with rosemary leaves, the smell takes me back to my mother’s kitchen in my high school days and the feeling is so real. The Gift barn shop had a candle whose name I forget but unmistakably reminded me of my dad. I asked the lady if it was inspired by a male perfume and she said could be, and she has heard a lot of her customers make reference to that. A kid had recently mentioned that the candle smells like papa.

Being at the shop evoked my yearning to see my creation come to life, having people buy my idea, people willing to spend on something I love passionately. I was beating myself up for not taking the leap and starting my gifting business venture then I remembered I had just recently celebrated 5 years of pouring into my blog. This blog is my labour of love. It is the gift that keeps giving and anytime I need proof of my commitment to a course I believe in, it looks right back at me. The commitment I have to my plants, to my yoga practice, to journaling, to always finding space for the things I love and that keep me grounded, all that makes me.

Much as I allow myself to take a break from all the things that make me, I get back on track and allow myself to pour some more into them. On my 5th anniversary, I commit to ensure that yoga, writing and journaling will forever be my coping tools wherever I go.

August 30, 2024

Boyfriend for hire

Cab driver

I step out of my gate and find him holding the door.

Hello, how long have you been standing in this cold?

Long enough to be the first to ..

Ah, you flatter me.

Don’t be modest. I know you get such complements all day. Is that Frank Olivier?

Yes!! You know your scents..

Waiter

I know he’s not mine but he can be just for a while.

What will you have he asks, as I sit right across him staring at the menu.

I have no idea, I tell him. I want something sweet, savoury. I want something filling because I’ve had a long day.

You could try the beef steak, medium rare. I know!! That’s not a Kenyan thing but you’ll never know how good it tastes. Remember how the sunny side up changed your egg preference? He asks

Well, that was a gamble. I don’t know how you got me to try that. Today I’m not in the mood of accomodating things as they are. I just want some familiarity with a tinge of explosion in my taste buds. I want to know what I’m eating while being unable to explain how the flavour is overworking my glands.

Sawa.. do you trust me to make your order?

I haven’t known him for long I think but the thrill of having someone else get my taste right even though there is a possibility he could get it wrong makes me leap at that chance. If one more thing goes wrong, it’s just that day.

Sure, go ahead.

Shop attendant

You know it’s been 10 min of your eyes darting from one Journal to another

Yes, I can’t seem to make a choice. I like the cover on one but the size of the other is more economical.

How about I get one for you and you pay for the other

Really…

Yes, you know you just have to ask. We have a sale coming up on the fourteenth, I could reserve it and maybe give you a call incase you forget.

The lines don’t get smoother than this. (this has been sitting in drafts from 28th August 2020 unimproved).

August 30, 2024March 6, 2025

Everything is not Enough

Lola Akinmade Akerstrom in her sequel Everything is not Enough a continuation from In Every Mirror She is Black continues proving that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other. She has maintained a great pace in the book, she takes time to walk us through the lives of each of the three main characters and their social circles. This book was a huge relief that literature writing has something going for it after reading 3 books that need much work on them.

You’ll enjoy the book more if you start with the prequel. I wrote my own predictions on how the story would end and I was revisiting my notes having finished the book. I’m glad to know I was not completely off tangent but girl, seems like I am scarred. I write that Tina’s phone call to Kemi revealed something because there has to be a story behind Tobias only being in 2 long term relationships before her and either does not materialize in marriage and further that Tobias has never told Kemi he loves her.

proceed if you do not mind spoilers

Turns out the phone call from Tina was only to check on Kemi and set up a lunch date because she wanted to see her and understand why Kemi would hurt Tobias that much. Thankfully Kemi has God on her side with the pregnancy because it would be a terrible shit show. I predicted that Kemi would get a less demanding job, smaller position and that she learns to appreciate lagom.

I am of course happy to have correctly predicted that Astrid is the problem in Johnny’s life. It is also good that the book does not tie all ends and there is lot of room for the characters to determine how their story ends. I see Brittany-Rae fashion collection being a house hold name, heck I think it already is.

Notable mentions from the book:

Saloon conversations – How they make saloon trips therapeutic because the clients get to talk and hear stories about other people and much as they hate the prodding by the saloonists, the saloonists in their efforts to understand and get to know their clients ask them questions akin to a therapist that get them thinking even after they leave the saloon. Kemi leaves the saloon not only looking good but also motivated to take up space and light the world with her being.
The reminder that women need to always take care of themselves. Kemi was feeling bad because of her actions and losing a good man because she did not trust his love which felt too easy and too effortless. In a bid to find excitement, we mess up. Kemi shares that the person who once made her shiver with desire makes her shudder with disgust. At the time, It felt that she had a chance with Ragnor, there was an illusion that the feeling between them was mutual, he was her equal. After a series of dating men who are considered beneath her finally she has the attention of someone at her level. Kemi stops punishing herself and in just making minor adjustments to her dressing and appearance, she is able to regain control of her life. We see the same with Yasmiin when she stops being a house wife and starts doing hair and makeup. She is exposed, she makes money for herself. Muna is also impacted when Yasmiin does her hair and make up and she sees herself as a beautiful girl worthy of love.
Mistakes as women are unforgiveable. I’ll first explain this from the Netflix Series Desperate lies. The husband cheats on the wife and she finds out. the wife begs him to stay so that they work things out but instead the husband flees to spend the weekend with the accomplice. The wife tries calling him severally but all her calls are unanswered. Her best friend tells her that she needs to go out and forget about her worries for a night which she obliges. Unfortunately while out, her best friend leaves her with what she had deemed as good hands but the guy ends up giving her ecstasy and she is completely blacked out and he rapes her. The husband comes back home and requests for another chance and he says they put what happened behind them. The woman agrees but unfortunately the wife’s “mistake” is unforgiveable years down the marriage. Kemi loses her job, she is cut off in her social circles, she sees judgement in everyone’s eyes while Ragnor takes a trip to find himself, comes back home to a loving wife and is offered a job at the same place Kemi was fired knowing well that Ragnor was complicit in Kemi’s actions.
Learning that Yoruba ( an ethnic group inhabiting Nigeria, Benin and Togo) have the highest frequency of twin births in the world.

The book’s title is a clear depiction of what the book addresses. For Brittany- Rae its not enough that she married a wealthy man, Its not enough that his name can open doors. She is black and even with the family connections, she needs an outsider to get her footing in the fashion world. For Kemi her work, her family, her friends, are not enough, until she learns her lesson. For Yasmiin being a housewife is not enough, for Yagiz being a Kingpin is not enough, he is still taken down by a close friend.

Muna’s story has a beautiful twist. Her dream has always been to go to university and have a degree in Finance. It does not happen for her in Sweden, Despite being in proximity with Kemi and Brittany they do not really know her, she gets a second chance in life and it opens up new possibilities for her. Its a shame that without her accident it does not seem she would have had this possibility.

Coming back to this draft months later and highly thinking that this writing style lost the reader who has not read the book, my bad, but maybe it works like a blurb and you now want to read the two books. The books are not a waste of your time. Also while reding about immigrants settling in their country of choice, definitely pick up Lucky Girl by Irene Muchemi.