THE MASK

People who mean everything they say think everyone else does too.
I am really tired.
tired and angry.
tired of office politics.
tired of reading in between the lines.
tired of friendly faces meant to deceive.
angry that I trust easily and think everyone means good.
angry that when people were throwing each other under the bus, I did not realize I was already under it.
angry that I allowed myself to be under the bus.
tired of sharing fake smiles.
angry that when I claim my turn an example is made of me.
angry that I have to second guess colleagues and their actions or inactions
tired of listening to what is not being said when someone is speaking
angry that I get it all wrong and I am cautious when I need not be and I let my guard down when I should not.
angry that I let myself trust the process
angry that I let myself believe hard work pays and disregarded that the reward for hard work in corporate is more work as you can work well under pressure.
tired of picking up slack
angry that when I do not pick up slack my reputation is marred alongside the slackers
angry that I do not have a mask, I do not wear a mask, I do not mask my feelings and facial expressions
the other players do not get tired or angry
they try me everyday and apparently me showing them I am tired and angry fuels them further.
Since my personality makes it hard for me to wear a mask, I will carry a mirror.
I will be what you want me to be
I will make you believe in me
whatever you see is what you will get and I will be telling you what you want to hear
finally learning to ride the wave and not swim against the tide

No disguise, only reflection