Bemused

Today I tell a story of a girl

Naive in an adorable way

You cannot fault her for not knowing

In fact you want to hold her close and shield her from the unknown so that she never gets to know

Not because you are monopolising knowledge but because the truth hurts and ignorance is bliss

She probably started with the wrong footing but it was beautifully wrong, adorable.

Remember not to fault her.

6 years ago when John Legend came into our homes, sang on our lips, I asked her what song would you dedicate to me? The answer was pretty obvious, at least to me but lo and behold she hit me with a song from that same year which wasn’t so much in our homes. This misstep was a blessing to me. She put me on such a pedestal because my answer by far surpassed hers and I relished teasing her about it.

She told me that She could show me love. Could!! Yet we were partners. She said that I could be her luck. Could!! Didn’t she feel lucky to have me? We never lasted long enough for her to show me love. She did lift me up, showed me what I wanted to see, and took me where I wanted to be… unloved.

In these 6 years, she was named someone’s African Queen. A tittle she did much deserve if only we replaced the Naivety. She very much played to his tune. Whine for him she did, shake for him she did and he encouraged her, number one in Africa as he asked her to let him love her. You know why she was naive? His first line was let me be your danfo driver.

When you ask her about it, she says that loving him was like trying to change your mind once you are already flying through the free fall. Losing him was blue like she had never known, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met.

She still does not know any better. Last I heard, all she was getting was sweet nothing. She put her faith in something unknown, trying to hope with nothing to hold. For her it is hard to learn, hard to love.

She asks me now ‘if the world was ending I’d come over right?’ She says that she knows, I know and we both know that we were not meant for each other and it is fine. She’s figured it out now, how to let one go and let communication die out. Thank you, next she means. I know, she knows and we know we were not down for forever and it’s fine. Turns out she was not naive when she dedicated Capital cities safe and sound all those years ago. She actually knew more than I did, she had independent thought as I followed trends. She spoke from her heart while I said what I thought people wanted to hear. When I look back, I never really gave her All of me as I had dedicated to her. Is this still her story or mine.