On my mat

Imagine having someone remind you to breathe every five minutes for the next one hour. When to inhale or exhale and how long to hold your breath. This is what happens when I get onto my mat. Ujayi breathe into your nostrils and out through the nostrils. Sometimes the person encourages that you let it out in a loud sigh, lion’s breath. Breathing is an exercise in itself and also a product of exercising. Breathing also takes place without your active inducement. It is silent, steady and rhythmic. With your breath you can heighten a sensation or calm your nerves. It is such a powerful bodily function that is partly within our control.

There are also other catchphrases that are unique to this mat. Stack your shoulders, square your hips, lift your gaze, float to the front of your mat and spread your toes. As a beginner I wondered huh!! Is he serious. When I looked around, everyone was unfazed. They had drishti which I came to learn is focus. On this mat I turn into an animal. Its a jungle on its own. We do frog poses, grasshopper, fish, camel, birds of paradise, eagle, cobra, gorilla you name it. I also get to be part of nature with my tree, lotus and mountain pose. Some poses just mimic things that are around we have boat pose, wheel pose, waterfall… This is why being on the mat is so peaceful; before you finish being all those animals, your surroundings and nature you have completely no room for thoughts to creep in. You literally empty your mind as you go with the flow vinyasa.

The hard thing isn’t doing the poses, it is getting the strength to show up on your mat each and every day. In my first class I wondered why the instructor began and ended by thanking the person on the mat. It is not easy. Yes, I thought so too… just a mat, comfortable one as such with grip, colorful depending on the mat, dressed in comfortable clothing you chose, why wouldn’t you show up? There is a unique pain you feel after your first attempt. Your wrists, your hamstrings, your core you light a fire within that burns.

The language on my mat is sanskrit. It has beautiful words such as chaturanga, malasana, flobo, savasana and namaste which you are probably familiar with. On my mat I know when I am due for a manicure and pedicure as I stare at my toes and fingers in downward dog. Yes there is an upward dog and we also walk the dog. On the triangle pose I check my armpit and know when I am due for waxing or if my deodorant works. Most of the time, I am in touch with my body scent because the drip after sun salutations can germinate a seed.

What happens on the mat is no longer a practice but a movement. In the wake of Covid 19 when studios were closed, and everything moved to virtual, so many people joined the mat movement. Though the sequences seem repeated, there is a different way the body feels the first time you do the asana, the second time and towards the end. The same instructions are repeated in so many languages and can also be done in silence. My first silent class was frustrating but once I got the hang of it, I looked forward to just breathe in sequence with a group of people on mats. On a Saturday class with a French instructor, I couldn’t help humming along to the background music. Much later I realized the reason the music spoke to me on a primal level was that it was in my native language. Ayub Ogada’s Koth biro in a French studio… Who would have thought!

One phrase that is common among instructors when taking a pose is that if you begin to feel discomfort, get deeper into the pose… Breathe. At other times the same instructors advice, listen to your body. Effort and ease, if today your body cannot handle side plank with a leg raised take it slow, bend the knee. Jon Snow knew this back in season 7.

So much is learnt on this mat that can be translated to daily living. For starters we have the aspect of traveling light. We weigh ourselves down with worries, plans, aspirations for the future when all that is in our control is the present. Be in the present an instructor will always remind. Just focus on your breath they will add and true to that, you realize at times all you can do is be aware of your breathing.

Balance is another thing practiced on the mat. One has to support the body weight on their elbow, headstand, or half moon. If you are not almost tipping over, all muscles are activated to support. Too much of anything is dangerous. Balance self care with productivity, know when you need to detach and the times you need to be fully present. We do fall on the mat, countless times. The thing is when you fall just get back up. On this mat, we learn to be comfortable with silence, stillness of the mind. We learn to be intentional with our practice and that everything is temporary be it the rest we take during child’s pose or the uncomfortable frog pose. We become aware of the tension that is stored within our bodies.

It is on this mat that I learnt to fully accept myself as I am. It’s never about what the other person is doing or how they are doing it. I just listen to the instructor and do what is within my practice. They will always repeat this… You are allowed to modify they will say. This means you can take it a notch higher or tone it down. For every pose, there is a modification there is no one way of doing things. The advanced students will take crow when everyone else takes a squat, they will go for wheel pose if it is within their practice as everyone else takes bridge. This does not demoralize you, it doesn’t make your practice feel any less. It actually motivates you to put in the effort till you can also modify. At the same time those who are already advanced in their practice do not feel like a show off, they worked their way towards the modification and the instructor’s encourage them to show off. On the mat there is zero room for judgement and once I realized this, I ditched my baggy t shirt for a sports bra. I may not have the body to go with it yet and who says I do not have the body to go with it anyway.

I am grateful for this journey. It is not one with a destination as I am constantly learning, constantly falling, constantly breathing.